FILL the BUCKET before You KICK it!

Note: During sabbatical this is a rough journal primarily for my purposes of tracking activities and thoughts...writing is consequentially reflective of this.

Read through 1 Corinthians...was moved by the rich truth, vibrant faith, passionate love, immovable foundation of the resurrection, powerful gifts of the Spirit, and the interactive dependency of the saints upon one another. Corinth a bunch of carnal Christians who nevertheless, are saved, loved, and experiencing God as Paul directs them towards maturity.

You can't help but be moved by the clarion call to LIVE LOVE. Love or you are NOTHING, accomplish NOTHING, and will be rewarded NOTHING!

After much prayer and a couple of uninstalls...I WON the wrestling match with Deb's computer and all her docs are safe...Thank you Jesus! Literally!

Took a long mountain bike ride with Deb with some berry picking stops along the way.

Went to Vernon and ran some errands then went and read on the Boat at the marina.

It was absolutely quiet with the campground empty and no other boats to be seen.

Finished the book, "The Four Hour Work Week" which I don't recommend as a values book because the author is on a different planet than most folks...but there are some great thoughts and strategies that I can repurpose for the life for Christ that I live. The author is out to live his "bucket list" but his "bucket" has big HOLES in it.

Came home and journaled and started brainstorming my "Bucket List". I have made several "bucket lists". The term was made popular by the movie "Bucket List" starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman (2007). I use the term a little differently...My question is, "What do I want to see, do, accomplish, experience, build before I kick the BUCKET?" What do I want to FILL the bucket with?

Here again the challenge is the blend between "My desires and God's direction"...I want to always DEFER to His direction but he has given me certain desires that align with His destiny for me...so I plan "Deo Volante" which is Latin for "God Willing". Above all I want to LIVE LOVE! I don't want to MISS great things I could have done or experienced or built simply because I was sitting on my can (a bucket). I want to "Go for it" AND let "God guide!"

I want to FILL the BUCKET before I KICK the BUCKET!!

Saw the Northern Lights from the rooftop hot tub! Wow God you are artistic!

Chewing the Cud

Got up early to travel to Rome...that is Paul's book to the Romans.
Rich, life-giving, spirit-empowering, direction producing, truth from God.

My sabbatical has been such a delightful opportunity to just spend time soaking deeply in mass quantities of scripture...without any thoughts of "how will I teach this" or "how can I use this to hep others" or "what pressing problem in my life or our church is this giving me insight to"....it's like Holy Bible Hot Tubbing! I feel my heart warming. I feel my spirit loosening up. I feel my mind becoming both emptying and filling up at the same time with a relaxation that goes to core of my being.

Climbed a high ridge called Attridge and spent time in prayer and journaling...it was cool how a large doe (...as in a doe a deer a female deer...for the city folk) was lying down in some blueberry bushes just 30 yards away...she didn't think I saw her so she was just lying there chewing her cud.

Chewing the cud, or ruminating as it is also called, is when a cow or other animal like a deer, eats, swallows, and then recalls their food from their stomache to chew on it some more. Sounds gross...but is it? We only get to taste our food, enjoy our food once...a big bite, a quick few chews, and boom, we are done. Not the deer...it savors a meal more than once!

Meditation in the Bible has the idea of "chewing the cud"...to receive a truth, then recall the truth, then review the truth over and over so to be reshaped by the truth, so to end up rejoicing in the truth even more!

Sabbatical is giving me time for something I stink at when I am at home...meditation!

Spent a lot of time with Deb analyzing our family budget to plan out how we can do more for the kingdom in the coming decade.

Then Deb's computer partially crashed...none of her documents are available and it's wigging out in several other ways. Spent four hours in a technical wrestling match in which I was soundly defeated....so the problem continues.

How can the sweetness of a morning with God turn into an evening of wrestling with a demon possessed computer? At midnight Paul sang in prison...at midnight I screamed at the computer...I guess I need to "chew some more cud"!

Head Damage Point

Spent some time with Paul in his letter to the Romans...was impressively blessed by the sufficiency of grace through faith in the risen Lord Jesus Christ! If my sins were held against me oh how hopeless I would be!
But to be justified by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone means I will NEVER be alone!

Went to the Farmer's Market in Vernon...met Pastor Stuart and Teresa and kids there...wonderful small town atmosphere that made me miss my Kansas small town roots.

Stuart and I drove to the town of Salmon Arm (who knew Salmon have arms?) to view the progress on the fourplex they purchased as an investment. Great deal they got on a sweet place. Am thrilled for them. We solved the problems of our churches and the world on the trip up and back...(now if someone would just ask our opinion :))

Did some reading in the afternoon and hiked to Bugaboos, for one last cinnamon roll on their last day of business until they reopen in December.

Pastor Stuart and his family only live 10 minutes down the mountain from our house. It was Taylor's (child #2 of 5) 12th birthday...so we went down for pizza and the famous (see previous blog) chocolate cake. Sang a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday...the Canadian version (same as the American version but with a few "eh's?" thrown in...."Happy Birthday, eh?"

In our adult conversation, after the kids were securely riveted to the new Star Wars dvd we bought Taylor for his birthday, a simple question, "Do you surf?"...led to the GREAT GOD STORY of "HEAD DAMAGE POINT". Following job and money more than a clear calling of God, Stuart ended up candidating for a church. While there he was invited to surf (for his first time ever) at the lethal "HEAD DAMAGE POINT" in Australia. He jumped off the rocks into the pounding surf and almost lost his life. (Jumping off into our will is often more an exercise in foolishness than in faith).

But the story didn't stop there...it led onwards to a time of seeking God and waiting, and waiting patiently and waiting joyfully...which created the "God call story" of how they got from Australia, to Scotland, to Calgary, then to a town of 600, then to an Edmonton mega-church, then to Vernon Alliance Church -- which at 1400 people is by far the largest church in this town of 60,000 and doing incredible kingdom work.

I thrill to sit and listen to the hand of God upon his servants as he leads them through a combination of "grace" and "faith".
"Grace" being those sovereign God moments where we do nothing but watch God show up in amazing ways.
"Faith" being those moments when we step way out of our comfort zone and say, "God if you don't come through, I'm through...finished" and then He meets us with his grace.

Deb and I have been discussing this MYSTERIOUS MIX of sovereignty and goal setting.
Are we foolish to use some of Sabbatical to plan the rest of our lives when the sovereignty of God can change everything in a moment? Is our planning a self-directed display of human arrogance?

The Lutheran Church I visited Sunday had at the top of it's bulletin this week...THIS WEEK, The LORD WILLING:...they feared to even print their schedule for the coming week lest God have other plans in mind. I appreciated that.

God says:
Prov 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Prov 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Prov 21:5 The plans of the diligent lead to profit

SO...It seems to me that "to fail to plan is to plan to fail"...but if we trust our plans instead of God's guidance we can miss His way...so "Lord, help me to prayerfully plan and then be quick to jettision my plans when your sovereignty reveals a different path."

Any other approach may lead me to "HEAD DAMAGE POINT"!

Rodeo Church

Went to the Lutheran church in Vernon, to visit fellow pastor, Roy White. (His son, Brent White, is a leader in our church and just went with me to Ethiopia). Roy did a great job leading a liturgical Lutheran service. Preached a fine message on patience from Romans 12.

The church had about 160 folks there with the majority over 70. Nice people, sincere about their faith.

Then drove to Willow Park Church in Kelowna (about 40 minutes) and caught their 11am service. This is a mega church with 4 locations linked by video messages. It seemed to be patterned like a hybrid of "saddleback and willow creek". After a couple of worship songs, then a professional quality video intro piece, I watched a video for 40 minutes...that was followed by communion and a couple more songs.

The message on "blessed are you when you are persecuted" was well done and sparked some personal questions in my own life. The congregation was average age 40 I would say.

My two different church experiences where quite divergent. I love the variety in the body of Christ. My concern lies with vitality and depth. Will we see mass quantities of churches die as the builder and boomer generations die? What quality and depth of faith will we pass on to the next generation?

In my opinion, I am troubled by video venues. They can be effective and there are arguments that can be made for their use. However, the Word of God is meant to be brought in an "incarnational" manner. That is the divine interaction between the Holy Spirit, the Holy Scripture, and the Holy Servant as the message is delievered to God's Holy People.
The truth was not affected by the video delivery system, but I felt the power of the Word was diminished. The sincerity was there but the personal engagement and sense that God was flowing through his vessel in that moment for the needs of the people of the gathered...that was lacking for me.

Made me think deeply about my presentation of God's Word...how to engage more deeply when 400 folks are looking at me...my plea is that they would not just hear the propositional truth but they would hear the personal truth...the impact of the Holy Spirit for them in that moment. I must deepen my personal incarnational preparation for that to happen.

Came up and took a long hike with Deb in the splendor of the mountains.
Feasted in Romans on a few chapters.

Then went to the IPE...Inner-Provincial Exhibition in Armstrong a huge fair and rodeo in a small town. After seeing all manner of cows, chickens, and swine (including a calf that was only 2 hours old) we settled into the rodeo...some of the best cowboys anywhere competed. We had great seats and I even snagged one of the six tshirts shot out of the clown's tshirt cannon...it was a brilliant catch according to my wife.

Honestly, the Rodeo was more engaging, exciting and personal than either church service...as good as the services were. I believe, our churches would benefit from less predictability and more wild and wooly God-stories of people taking the ride of their life... yes, sometimes getting bucked off and ending in the dirt...but also, sometimes riding the bull until the ringmaster pulls you safely onto their horse. Cowboys don't want the tame rides....the winners want the wildest bull available...deliver me from tame Christianity that is safe, predictable and boring!

Got home and ended a glorious day under a canopy of bright stars (39 degrees out) in a rooftop hot tub (102 degrees).

My Favorite Love Song

Yesterday was devoted to 4 of my favorite things in life: reading, hiking, conversing with Deb and worshipping Jesus.

Began my 16 chapter down the Romans Road...one of my favorite books in the Bible.
Paul emphasizes what I call the "God Song of Creation"...God is revealing himself through the beauty and power and order and intricacy of creation. If you listen to creation with your senses and your spirit and your faith....you can hear the "witness" of God's voice singing His love over his children. This song is so prevalent and powerful that Paul says, it leaves us without an excuse if we are trying to deny God and his goodness.

Father, let these months of Sabbatical be an exercise in listening so deeply to your love song over my life, that I begin to reverberate that song more clearly to all I meet.

Ordered a new book for my Kindle (Amazon reading device) called "The 4 Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferris...had been recommended to me by some of my business buddies. I will give you a few thoughts on later...but for now let me say...while the guy is sharp, he has a whole different set of values and ethics than me so much of the book is a sharp contrast to my life...thank God! But there are some brilliant pieces of advice in it as well.

Also continued, Love God with All Your Mind...something more Christians need to think about.

Took a long gorgeous hike eating berries and watching for bears....LISTENING to MY FAVORITE LOVE SONG...God's love poured out on me through creation.

Went to worship at Vernon Alliance Church (our BC church). My brother and friend and the associate pastor Greg brought a good message on the "Scandal of Forgiveness"...emphasizing that "a lifestyle of forgiveness and grace giving may not make sense at first, but it ends up giving you what you really want and need!"

"Lord, I want not one ounce of grudge against anyone in my life. I want to quickly cover any error or offense against me with your amazing grace"

THE ACTS of LARRY

Spent the morning in ACTS and in acts.

As has been said, this book of the Bible could have as accurately been entitled the "ACTS of the HOLY SPIRIT" instead of the "ACTS of the APOSTLES". What "acts" does the Holy Spirit initiate and empower through the life of a believer? It's amazing to read this book and watch the Holy Spirit in action through people. Whether it is transforming a Saul, or empowering a Stephen, or giving a divine appointment to Philip, or using a Barnabas to encourage, or starting a church through a business woman named Lydia, or serving the poor through a Timothy...

What kind of ACTS does the Holy Spirit want to do through the rest of my life?
What would the book "The ACTS of LARRY" read like?
Those can be quite small...such as doing the dishes, serving my wife, giving an encouraging word.
Those can be quite significant...such as starting a new church, raising up a new leader, etc.
Holy Spirit, my helper, my guide, my counselor, lead my life moment by moment and season by season...I say, "YES" to your sovereignty and your wisdom for my life!

The Holy Spirit helped me do the ACT of going to the laundry mat for my wife for 2 hours!
There I sat reading "Loving God with Your Mind" by J.P.Moreland as the grittiest folks of Vernon aired their dirty laundry. Listening to their talk of their party the night before and the messes their lives was an interesting backdrop to my theological book. I came away committed to mix the "absolute truth" of the gospel with the "acts of compassion" of the gospel.

Before the Laundry mat I had taken Deb to a nice lunch and had helped her clean the house. It was a chore day for sure.

Afterwards came home and finished the book of ACTS...it's been so refreshing just to soak in the Word of God.

We ended the day with a treat...literally and socially. We spent the evening eating AMAZING Chocolate Cake (similar to what's pictured above) made by the amazing Teresa - mom of 5, budding esthetician, wife of Pastor Stuart, accomplished pianist. As usual laughed, shared, relaxed, and edified bytheir company.

"...TO YOU"

Note: During sabbatical this blog is serving as a brief, daily, informal, semi-personal journal of activities and thoughts...written in a quick and simple style.

Got Linz and her two friends out the door and on the road back to Seattle to catch their flights. Spent some time cleaning...then dove into the book of Acts with great eagerness.

Then worked on the travel details for the trips we are taking in September and October during our sabbatical time. That took much of the morning, but worked out well. Worked on the roof of the house for an hour and half dealing with drain and water issues.

Finished the book "Who are you and What do you want?". Good book that challenges you to think through 4 key life questions.

Read more info on the evangelist\healer who took the nation by storm over the past six months...so much so that ABC did a special on his revival in Florida. The info broke my heart for him, his wife, his ministry, the body of Christ and for the name of Jesus. While rocketing to the top of the Christian world, he had been having an affair with a woman on his staff and also going through bouts of drunkenness. His marriage, which had been in trouble for a long time, moved to separation. The lack of true accountability and his penchant for independence helped exacerbate his dysfunction.

Having been through this with a pastor I worked for in 1985, who also ended up on an ABC special, I am especially sensitive to this. The Christian world is so quick to make heroes of those God seems to be using in powerful ways without ever questioning their integrity, their marriage, their accountability, their stewardship of God's finances.

Yet Jesus was so clear that obedience to His LORDSHIP in the private areas of our lives is what really matters. Every one claiming gifts of the Spirit should frame Matthew 7:21-23 and put it everywhere. Miracle working is not God's stamp of approval upon your life, it's his grace extended to others.

Later in the day, I read more in the book of Acts..., climbed up "Christmas Bowl" (the ski run behind our house (pictured above) and then climbed it again with Deb and spent an hour picking wild blueberries for pancakes and muffins. Watched Obama's acceptance speech and then Deb and I watched a cute movie.

As I finished the day by praying in the hot tub, I sensed the Lord impress on my mind two words, "TO YOU"....As I was reflecting on my time in the Word and the evangelist and Obama's speech...I sensed that I am often influenced and at times even controlled by this question, "HOW DO I LOOK?" Do I look good to people, to the church, to friends, to peers, etc.?

The Lord seemed to to say, "Larry, you must add these 2 words to the question that you so often ask, "How do I look...TO YOU?" There is only ONE OPINION that really holds any weight in life...in the private places and in the public places...Lord, how do I look TO YOU? Just between you and me, am I thinking, acting, speaking, relating, being motivated in a way that is pleasing to you? TO YOU oh Lord I lift my life.

August 27 The God of "BAM"

The last day with the four female theologians was a good one...we all hiked down to the village to Bugaboos for cinnamon rolls. Then Deb and I took a long mountain hike that involved berry eating and drinking from fresh mountain streams.

Then took the girls down to Vernon for a sincerely scrumptious Thai dinner that included some of the best Pad Thai I have eaten anywhere. We celebrated Lindsey's birthday since she is going to be in Long Beach without us on September 6.

Spent some time in Acts and marveled at the actions of God in smiting Ananias and Sapphira...sure they lied to the apostles and consequently to God...sure they conspired in such a way to make themselves look generous...sure their pride and reputation was more important than the gift they were giving...sure this was the start of the NT church and God wanted to set a standard of holiness....sure God wanted to endorse the apostolic authority in such a way that led to respect for the offices that Jesus had established...sure God wanted the NT church to be purified...BUT all that said I have to admit..."whoa! pretty strong action from God. You lied? BAM!"

So here's my take...1) Don't mess with God...we want to think we can put God in our little nice warm fuzzy boxes...God is love but God is God and can take whatever action He deems appropriate...It's His game, His rules, and He's the referee...we don't live in a democracy but a theocracy...2) We don't know what's behind the scene. God will always act out of love and justice and when we don't understand part of the reason is that we only see our side of the picture.
3) Ask God when you get there...but to judge God now only hinders your heart and limits your living...Don't feel bad about having questions but don't let those stop you from TRUSTING God now and trusting you will understand later.

Sometimes our God is the God of "BAM!"...His prerogative.

August 26 - Kids and Church

Today my "pastor" and friend Stuart and his 5 Kids (ages 4 to 13) met us at the lake...but it was cool, blustery, and cloudy...the water white capping...it was a bummer to stand and look at the lake dressed in our sweatshirts....the kids all ready for swimming, boat rides and a fun time...but to no avail.

So we loaded back up and drove all the way back up the mountain...after treating the whole gang to lots of sugar at the campground grocery store. The kids hottubbed, hiked, watched movies, ate goldfish (the crackers!) under the watchful and fully involved supervision of Lindsey and Deb. (I love the McKnight kids...so I enjoyed myself too!)
Meanwhile Stuart (pictured above) and I solved the world's problems and talked ministry. Talked about how the church must get beyond what happens on location and be the church during the week in the neighborhood.

The discussion fit well with my journey into the book of ACTS today. I am struck again at the vibrancy and sacrifice of the NT church. Their commitment to the Christ, the mission, and one another is a high bar which I believe we fall so far short of. How do I as a pastor\leader model and lead in a way that keeps LLCF from being a "religious organization" and helps us be "a true community of love that is working together for the mission"? We can look at other churches and say, "hey we are doing a great job!" but then I look at the church in ACTS and it's like "whoa...we need to take it up ten notches".

Lord help us at LLCF be the BRIDE, the ARMY, the HEALERS, the FAMILY that you desire.

9-25 The Gospel according to John, The Shack and Rugby

Spent much of the morning with John...not in the John but with the Apostle John as he unfolded the majesty of Jesus...who is my life, my door, my shepherd, my vine, my truth, my gate, my bread, my King, my grace -giver, my light, my creator, my Messiah, my teacher, my friend, and ALL THE OTHER WONDER-FILLED ATTRIBUTES that John reveals about Jesus!

Also spent time reading and finishing "The Shack"....powerful and controversial book. I personally was refreshed by it...afterwards I read praises and critiques of the book by Christian leaders I admire. My opinion? A good book to help people relate to God more personally and less religiously. A poor book to derive some of your theology from. It's FICTION and must be read like fiction. If it was a theological work my concerns would be on matters of "revelation, scriptural authority, trinitarian accuracy, universalism, and undermining of the church".

On to more serious matters: RUGBY...I had hardly heard of the game...but my "PASTOR" in Vernon is convinced on the 8th Day God created RUGBY. So after spending 3 days with 4 female theologians I fled to the "city of refuge" for a testosterone fix... went to Pastor Stuart's house to watch RUGBY...South Africa vs. Australia with 50,000 people in the stadium...I learned a new foreign language including "scrums" and "trys" (why would you score a goal and call it a "try"? It's quite confusing because if you score you are not "trying" you are "scoring".)

Searching for theological revelation in rugby may seem a far fetched effort...but I did receive a vivid illustration of what some days of ministry feel like..."a scrum with Satan". Also I began to see how whole segments of people can miss the gospel....here I am, a world traveler, highly educated, YET the revelation of "rugby" was completely foreign to me...I had heard it, had a clue about it...but had missed the powerful truth of the gospel of rugby!

After the sacred time, we retired to the living room for some more "ordinary biographical updates and more common theological discussion...including "The Shack"...Pastor Stuart is a bright theologian and sharp leader from Scotland. His friendship sharpens my life.

Also in the afternoon I rode my bike all the way to the top of Silver Star mountain. Some real mountain biking! What a work out but what a view from the top!

Yikes, I am First Time Visitor!

Note: During Sabbatical this is a personal journal that briefly shares a diary of my day with a few thoughts...don't expect good writing or profound wisdom.

Got up early to spend intense time with Jesus. Primarily focused in the end of Luke and the first 8 chapters of John.

Went to Grace Bible Church of Vernon...interesting church...just had merged with another church and the Associate Pastor Bob Cowert was preaching his farewell sermon and sharing about his relocation to Honduras. The message was on the importance of gathering together from Hebrews 10:19-25 with an emphasis on small group gatherings....he wanted to encourage the people to devote themselves to one another. It's a church trying to transition from the 90's to 2008. It was 90% full (300 seats) and seemed to have a buzz...75% of the church was over 60 years old...but to their credit the whole worship team was under 35. So I believe this church will turn the corner and flourish because it opening itself up to the next generation.

Worship was sincere but much too quiet and unenthusiastic for my tastes...but that's me...and it didn't stop me from worshiping with delight in my God.

I love to experience what it feels like to visit a church for the first time....I am a professional church guy and it is a bit INTIMIDATING for me to visit for the first time. It impressed me with three things....ONE...it's so important for friends to bring friends to church...then they don't have to feel alone on their first visit...TWO...it's so essential for the "regulars" to go out of their way to enthusiastically welcome newcomers. Pastors must make the first timers their priority, greeters must be genuine and outgoing, and the general church must take it on themselves to be God's heart extended...THREE...the good-byes are as important as the "hello's"...what's the last impression as a newcomer walks to the parking lot....between the arrival and the departure you are safe in your chair...but the arrival and departures are essential because that's when the guest is wondering...will I be accepted here?

Lord, help LLCF be "the people loving place"...not in word but in deed!

Came home and read, and Deb and I went to coffee shop in village (Bugaboos) and talked with the owner, master baker Frank, then hiked, and picked raspberries, blueberries, and strawberries...all wild. All delicious...got drenched from the rain.

Came home, had a long talk with mom on the phone (going through chemo) and had dinner with the girls (the 4 female theologians) and had a good talk.
Read "The Shack" and went to bed.

S. #27 Grace, Peace and Girls

Lindsey and two of her girlfriends from seminary arrived at 2:30am. Praise God for their safe arrival. Lindsey had been in Alaska with TJ and flew back to Seattle and then used my mom's car to drive the 7 hours to Silver Star.

Spent time with Jesus in Luke for much of the morning. Then had a great talk with Lindsey and Deb about her future and her time in Alaska.

Then Deb and I went to the boat. Weather has been less than desirable for boating on the lake. Deb and I swam and I skied. The 3 girls came down from the mountain and Linz wakeboarded and skiied. Then we taught Molly to wakeboard and then read, swam and skiied some more.

I am reading the hugely popular book "The Shack"....it is also controversial in the Christian world so I thought I would check it out for myself.

Went to church, Saturday evening service and had a good time of worship. Jeremy the youth pastor brought the word...although it was apparent that he was nervous and new in the pulpit, I appreciated that a church as large as Vernon Alliance would allow him to get the experience. His message was on "Grace and Peace" and the fact that so many of the NT letters open with that salutation. His text of Philippians 1:1-14 is a great passage. I asked the Lord to allow me to soak in his grace and peace in new ways so that I can give it away in new proportions.

Came home and bbq for the girls...me and 4 girls (Deb, Lindsey, Molly, Kristina) and they are all SEMINARY TRAINED THEOLOGIANS! So it's fun to hear their life stories and their calling and their dreams.

Watched a little of the Olympics and watched the anchor of the USA women's 4x400meter relay team come from behind to catch Russia and redeem her personal 400meter failure. (she had been picked to win but came in 4th. Her failure didn't sink her, it only gave her greater resolve.

God I pray that this may be the case in my life as well...let me receive your GRACE and PEACE in my failures and come charging back with greater resolve for YOU!

S. #26 Wild Strawberry Juice

Authors note: During sabbatical this blog is a daily semi-personal journal of activities and insights.

Spent the morning in chores and in the Word and the early afternoon in study and reading.

Deb and I took a long mountain hike. It was a good work out, it was beautiful. Saw deer. Spent a lot of time picking and enjoying wild blueberries and wild strawberries.

Standing at 7500 feet, in a clearing with pine trees surrounding, with sparkling fresh air filling our lungs, feasting our eyes on a hundred miles of mountains, trees, and lakes; with the tingling taste of wild strawberries dancing on our tastebuds, and blueberry juice dribbling down our face, with our hands clasped together in a mixture of friendship and romance, with our hearts light & free & happy, with our eyes lifted to our Father in heaven...truly one of those moments to capture, savor, and remember.

Creation floods my spirit with the presence and goodness of God..."Thank you Jesus for the intricate works of your hands".

Watched two of Lindsey's former classmates compete in the Olympics. Bryan Clay was with her at APU...he won the gold in the decathlon...and Tony Azevedo was with her at Wilson High School and he led the water polo team to the gold medal round.

Lindsey and two friends from Fuller Seminary arrived at 2:30am.

S. #25 Happy Wife, Happy Life!

Spent time with LUKE...that is a the gospel of Luke and I felt like Theopholis (see Chapter 1).

Helped Deb and Shelley prepare for meeting with our new caretaker of our homes at Silver Star. This new venture of going out on our own after have had a property manager for the last 12 years is scary. We (the Pauls and us) have to market the homes for ski rentals and run the business at a whole new level. But we really have no choice and we believe we can do it much better than what it's being done. To see the homes visit our website at wishuponasilverstar.com

Deb is running lead on this and doing a super job. She is a Proverbs 31 lady for sure....thanks God for a great wife who is very sharp, good looking, and loves you and me greatly!

Took Shelley to Kelowna airport and ran errands with Deb...then we just spent some good couple time. I love my wife!

One of the most well known Christian speakers just chose to have an emotional affair and is separated from his wife. What a tragedy! The announcement is rocking the news last week. My motto in marriage is "Happy Wife, Happy Life!" If I can serve DEB and lay down my life for her she will go out of her way to be a blessing to me and we will grow closer as the years go by.

Marriage before Ministry!! That's part of what this sabbatical is about...taking some great time to just go deeper with DEB...she is my first ministry.

Met with Don Kassa (our Canadian realtor) about selling our property since construction prices have become prohibitive.

Came back up to house and ate big healthy salads and watched Olympics.

S. #24 The Agony of My Dream

Matthew, Mark, Luke....finished Matthew, read through Mark, and started Luke. Good morning in the Good Book...God's word is like fresh water pouring over my body, soul, and spirit. Cleansing, renewing, refreshing, reinvigorating.

Deb is in Long Beach until tonight so I have the day to invest.

One dream I have had for the last 15 years is to ride my bike from the top of the mountain at Silver Star to the town of Vernon in the valley. So I said, "why not today?" I knew it would be tough...I knew it would take some time....but "you only live once!"

So under cloudy skies and a cool day, I jumped on my bike and coasted downhill at speeds up to 30 miles an hour...it was so fast it was scary. 4,000 feet in 12 miles!

But "what goes down must go up"...so the 4,000 foot, 12 mile climb began and it was intense...about 3 miles up it began pouring rain...I was drenched from sweat and now I was drenched with rain...it grew harder to ride. Trucks were blazing down the hill and there is no shoulder on the road so in a spray of water they would go by me.

I stopped and drank but I had no calories with me. I rode on in increasing pain and exhaustion. About the 10 mile mark I was so out of fuel and the terrain so steep that I walked the bike for at least a mile...willing myself forward step by step. LIVING DREAMS OFTEN INCLUDES AGONY.

Finally, 3.5 hours after I started down the hill...I arrived at our house...Praise Jesus for his strength and help. Although my legs were cramping and throbbing...my heart was filled with victory and satisfaction...the dream in all it's glory and struggle had been lived!

I ate tons of calorie, jumped in the hot tub, crashed on the sofa and recovered.

At 9:30pm I went to pick up Deb and Shelley at Kelowna Airport.

S. #23 The BIBLE and TV

Helped get the group ready to leave...Deb is doing a quick trip back to Long Beach to deal with the matters created by the theft of her wallet...primarily DMV but other issues as well...thank God for a friend like Shelley Pauls who works for Alaska and is using her vacation to fly down with Deb so that the flight is free.

Spent most of the morning and afternoon in God's Word...it's so rich and invigorating just to fill up with the truth.

Took a long mountain hike and spent some quality time in prayer...ran some errands for Deb in the valley. Read some more and watched Olympics.

While I am greatly enjoying having a TV for the sake of the Olympics, I am reminded why I am so GLAD that we don't have a TV in our HOME! The commercials alone are enough to introduce all kind of evil into a home. So many homes are soaked in the atmosphere of sex, violence, greed, pride, sarcasm, lust, anger, pleasure, slothfulness, all because their TV's spew the garbage into their family room day after day.

Praise God for the WORD that declares His paths...they are enlightening, empowering, and embracing of the SHALOM of God. That's the atmosphere I want permeating my home!

S. #22 God and Gold Medals

Spent time in the Word...plus reading...plus some insightful spiritual conversation with the group of family and friends who are here in Canada with us.

Went to Lake and spent an afternoon of reading, skiing, boating, swimming, laughter, and theological discussion with the group. I began reading "Loving God with Your Mind" by the great apologist, J.P. Moreland...excellent read.

Had a special last supper with the group, followed by watching the Olympics. I reflect on how the apostle Paul used the games as a metaphor for his own spiritual development and for the crown of victory that is available to all of us.

Nastia Lukin, of the USA, tied for the gold medal in uneven bars, but through a crazy computer calculation, the Chinese girl was awarded the gold and Nastia received the silver. I am so glad that God's scoring is "grace based" not "performance based"....that God's scoring hands the gold medal to all of us who "tie" by "being found in Christ, not depending on our own greatness but on the righteousness of Christ, HIS greatness".

Grace does not mean I don't train for God's Olympics...as Dallas Willard writes and as I read from Moreland's book yesterday, "Grace is opposed to EARNING but not to EFFORT!"
I can never earn a Gold but I receive it by grace through faith, BUT I need to train daily to live in a way that pleases God...a truly "golden" life of becoming more and more like Christ!

S. #21 Worship in the Park

A brief daily journal with personal thoughts meant primarily for my own consumption.

Spent time with family and friends from Seattle who are at the house. Did some reading in the Word.

Went to an outdoor worship event sponsored by our church in Vernon. A great night of praise at the park that reminded me of our Long Beach Church Without Walls. Had good talks with our Pastor here, his executive pastor, and a guy who is just coming to know the Lord...he owns a sporting good store that I have gone to for years. We ended the worship time with a "How Great is God" under a beatiful Okanagon sky in a gorgeous green park with a stream flowing through it.

After worship in the park we came back and played a new dice game and I lost big time.

Lord, I read more in the "Who am I and What Do I want" book and am asking you to focus my energy, to help me to know what my "holy no's" should be and what my "holy yes's" should be. Grant me insight as I seek you on this matter!

S. #20 Beauty and a Broken Boat :(

Authors note: During my sabbatical I am using my blog as a brief personal journal of activities, happenings, and learnings. Others are welcome to read but expect simplicity, not profundity.

Shared time with my sister Brenda, partners and friends, Dwight & Shelley Pauls, and Bonnie and David Carpenter. Walked to the village (Silver Star) for cinnamon rolls at our friend, Frank's bakery. Gorgeous day. Walked through the car show they were having in the Village.

Went to the valley to the lake and skiied, swam, laughed, picnic(ed). I read a book by Mick Uklejwa (former pastor and now acquaintance of mine)...entitled, Who Are You and What do you Want? Good insight into understanding yourself and your sweet spot.

That evening we boated to the Blue Heron, a waterside cafe. After a delightful meal, we cast of for our 10 mile voyage back on a full moon stunningly beautiful night at 9:45. Guess what?

The boat broke down (overheated) and we were stranded...finally flagged down a boat and were towed back to the dock....we hit the bar not for a drink but for tools...one friendly guy, Craig Edwards from Canmoore helped us out with tools...Dwight and David worked on it for an hour and were able to fix it! Thank you Jesus! Finally got back to the marina where we are keeping the boat and where the cars were. Got home at 1am and fell into bed.

What's going on? Everything we do, something challenging happens. It's making it hard to relax and rest the mind and spirit. But God is bringing us through trial by trial. "Help me to learn step by step. I trust you Lord and I refuse to fear the power of the one who hates me!"

S. #19 Accidents and Awesomeness

Cleaned house and washed windows for a few hours before meeting a long time friend who has been our property manager for 13 years. We have ministered to him through the dissolution of his marriage and sought to be an influence for Christ. It was good to be with him, share our love and God's with him, and on top of that it was a good business meeting as well.

Went down to town in the valley...I had to slam on my brakes for a guy making a sudden left turn, behind us was a 22 year old driver following too close, going too fast and BAM!! He smashed into us. I jumped out and the entire front of his car was smashed in but he was ok. We were ok....I had a bit of whiplash but nothing major...His car had at least$2500 of damage...ours had damage to the paint and a displaced bumper...he hit our trailer hitch and that spared us a lot of damage.

We couldn't believe it!! Is the devil trying to ruin our sabbatical or what? Deb and I just shook our heads. We thanked God no one was hurt and that we had no more damage than we did.

We went to the boat and just relaxed and read and swam and I waterskiied. Our friends and partners in our boat, Dwight and Shelley, our long time Seattle friends and pastor of children Bonnie and David Carpenter, and my sister Brenda all flew in for the weekend.

We took a long mountain hike as the full moon was rising...the AWESOMENESS of God was present...and stayed up til midnight laughing, sharing old stories, and praying together. It was a rich time. During prayer they specifically asked that God would shield the rest of our sabbatical from Satan's destructive attacks.

Deb and I had decided to laugh in the devil's face....not out of disrespect for his power...but out of the certainty of our victory in Christ! The devil can't steal the joy and goodness of God in our lives. Sabbatical is not an escape from the reality of spiritual warfare but a space where we can reflect on our victory in Christ!

S. #18 CSI and the Right Heart

Spent time in the word...loving Jesus and receiving his love for me.
Helped Lindsey get ready to go to Alaska.
The four of us walked to the ski village and had a late breakfast at Bugaboos
Then drove to airport and saw the kids off.

Went back to the parking lot where Deb's wallet was lost...spent the next hour and half looking for the elusive wallet....searching dumpsters...talking with people...offering rewards...talking with the police...I kept thinking it's going to be here...it's going to be there...praying fervently....trying to listen as if God was going to show me exactly where it was....but I got no word of knowledge, no vision...just sweating under the sun playing CSI...but to no avail and to great disappointment.

We came back up to the house, read, watched Olympics, and hot tubbed.

God, you can teach me through these trials....help me not to waste the frustrations but to learn what you want me to know...I love you, Jesus and these small trials are an opportunity....keep my attitude positive and my mind focused on you.

S. #17 Birthdays and a Very Bad Day

We were celebrating Lindsey's birthday today since we won't be together on September 6.

We got up early and did a long mountain hike...followed by mom's special German Pancakes...then off to the Lake for wakeboarding and waterskiing. Lindsey tore it up on both and so did TJ. I had my best day skiing also.

Then we took them to Turtle Bay Marina and rented a SEADOO for them for an hour...while they Seadoo'ed Deb and I chilled at the outdoor cafe.

But then the trouble started. We drove back to Bagel Lane for Lindsey to eat at one of her favorite places in Vernon. When we got there...we could not find Deb's wallet! We searched high and low and determined it must have been left at the Seadoo place because she paid. She quickly drove back the 30 minutes one way to the spot...NO WALLET! She left numbers in case anyone turns it in. No one is fessing up yet. Our whole lives are in her wallet.

Near panic was setting in but we had tickets to the incredible outdoor theater called Caravan Theater so we had to go...it was spectacular evening in the Canadian hills...miles from anywhere...and the acting was good although none of us cared that much for the play this year.

But because of the wallet it was a somber night. TJ and Lindsey fly out to Alaska tomorrow to spend time with TJ's family and Deb may have to fly home for a few days to handle stuff if the wallet doesn't show up in the next few hours. This is hard...help me Lord to know how to minister to Deb...teach me in the tough times to be a rock and to trust you.

S. #16 Silver, Sinking, Risking

Spent extended time in the Word...went to lake with Lindsey, Deb, and TJ. Skiied hard...TJ slalomed and did great for a first timer. BBQ'd ribs at the house. Watched Olympics.

The disappointment of the USA Women's Gymnastic team, led me to think of the disappointments in life. How we handle disappointments, unmet expectations, setbacks, defeats, even tragedies...determines how we move forward or backward in life. Most people play it too safe out of fear of failure. They know the pain of disappointment is very acute so if they set their goals much lower then they seldom have to face that pain. But if they go for the gold...they have to risk the possibility of frequent exposure to pain.

I had just read of Peter getting out of the boat...walking on water...what a risk...what a thrill...but when he sunk, he was rebuked by Jesus for his lack of faith...but how much more all those disciples who never dared to try something far outside their comfort zone. Peter goes down as the disciple of Faith, even though his career as a water walker failed. He dared to step out counting the possibility of victory as greater value than the possiblity of sinking!

God help me step out when I hear you say, "Come". He will always be there to pick me up when I sink!

S, #15 Learning Nothing

Chores...even on vacations or sabbaticals...there are chores...which I really don't mind that much because as you have heard it said, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"...but "All play and no work makes Jack an undisciplined little brat incapable of deeply experiencing pleasure but habitually looking for the next fun time instead of enjoying all times." Okay maybe you haven't heard the second quote.

After chores...we packed lunches and headed for the lake and spent the afternoon bobbing in the water and swimming and reading and laughing. Came back up the mountain to the house, hot tubbed, made dinner and played "Mexican Train"...a domino game...which Deb won (there seems to be a theme in our family)...and then watched a comedy movie.

I did not learn anything significant today...that I know of...and that is one of my goals is to have a few days where I don't accomplish anything...except enjoy God, my family, my life...and that at the end of that day I would feel just as special and valuable to God as days when I accomplish a lot...OK maybe I did learn something yesterday.

S. #14 Conquering the Cliffs

Spent time with Matthew (the book) and Jesus. Good teaching for my spirit...Jesus was certainly a paradoxical blend of tough and tender...blasting Pharisees one minute, bouncing babies on his knee the next...I was touched by his humanity...when he got news that John the Baptist, his cousin, his hero (none born of women is greater) was beheaded, the next thing he does is go off alone and seek His Father...to me it has grief written all over it...his heart is heavy BUT he knows where to turn.

Since we had gone to church the night before...we packed lunches and headed for the daunting climb up the ENDERBY CLIFFS! Drove the hour there and started up. Of course Lindsey and TJ had boundless energy but Deb and I were huffing it all the way up the steep and strenuous path. It gets so steep at points that ropes are in place to help you up.

Deb felt like quitting several times but was a real champion...cheered on by the rest of the family. Ever since cancer surgery things like this have been more difficult but she refuses to be stopped. After 3.5 miles (one way) and 2200 feet of elevation gain we reached the top! What a view...we praised God!

After the 5 hour hike we were exhausted. But came home, hot tubbed, bbq'd ribs and then we went to a DRIVE IN...yes they still have them...a country drive in...we watched a double feature... Dark Knight (Batman 14) and Get Smart (Be dumb enough to watch it). Got home at 2am. What a FAMILY Day!

Lessons: Because we were committed to getting together to the top as a Family...we all had travel the pace of the slowest person...while it extended the climb time, it made the summit so much sweeter! I am the guy who likes to race to the top regardless of who I leave behind...sometimes it's more important to get there all together...Lord show me when to say, "let's go" and when to say "let's stay together".

Sabbatical #13 "My Father's Lap"

Slept in til 7am...got up and made coffee...spent time with Matthew & Jesus...Matthew writes some profound stuff about Jesus...I am struck by the pattern in Jesus' life of engagement and withdrawal, intensity followed by leisure, outflow followed by recharging.

Read the rest of Jim Collins' Good to Great for the Social Sector...key thoughts for me..."Great leaders are ambitous NOT for themselves but for the cause...a blend of personal humility and professional will...a commitment to do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission of the organization. When people see you are motivated first and foremost by the greatness of the work and not self-seeking then they are inspired to follow and emulate your example. I believe the Apostle Paul was a "level 5" leader...powerfully ambitious but only for the church and the cause.

It was cold and raining and hailing on the mountain...throughout the day...beautiful and powerful with lightening and thunder. Walked down to Bugaboos in the village, visited with Frank, our Dutch friend who owns the place...he gave us 4 of his famous cinnamon rolls...Lindsey, TJ, Deb, and me enjoyed them. Deb and I took a long mountain hike, eating wild strawberries, the clouds let loose just as we had about a quarter mile to go...we ran the rest of the way and then hopped in the hot tub in the rain!

Deb and I went down to the village for the wine festival...not to drink but to visit with friends we have on the mountain...saw several friends.

Then went down to Vernon to go to OUR church...Vernon Alliance Church pastored by our friend Stuart McKnight. He is on a semi break...working 4 days a week and only preaching 2 times a period of 9 weeks. He was there, but not preaching. Had a good time connecting with him and worshipping. Len Frank brought the word and it was perfect for me and for the start of Sabbatical. Detailed the difference between living from a Performance model and living from a Relational model...how we see to gain acceptance from God instead of receiving the GRACE of relationship...the Father's love...he brought the chair that his Father sat in all the time and how he was only allowed to sit in his father's lap a few times and when he was...he sat there tense and quietly until his Father fell asleep...he saw himself as an inconvenience to his Father.

In the worship following the message...God showed me how I had never really experienced "my Father's lap". I was too young to remember my daddy because he died when I was two. I was too old to sit on my step-dad's lap once he came into my life. The Lord seemed to show me that this is one of the reasons I have struggled with "performance" issues...having to establish my value through my accomplishments. God invites me to lean back into his chest, to feel the warmth of his arms embracing...not because I have done something special but because I AM SPECIAL to my Father.

Came back up the mountain and watched a movie with TJ and Linz.

Sabbatical #12 Thistles, Sin, & Servanthood

Got up and spent time with Jesus and Matthew...going verse by verse. I am convicted to be a "2 Mile Christian"...one who when compelled to go one mile cheerfully says "Can I carry that heavy load another mile for you?" That's servant leadership..."Lord, teach me to be a 'go-giver'"

Then pulled "thistles" for part of the morning...if you don't get them pulled up before they flower they continue to multiply...I couldn't help but think about sin in my life and how important it is to pull it out when it is young, new, beginning, before it's roots grow deeper and it begins to spread its poison and spread to other parts of the garden of my heart!

As I was pulling thistles my allergies went off the charts...red bumps up and down arms, sneezing, the whole deal. I pray that I would be that allergic to SIN!

Drove Deb and Lindsey to the airport and we picked up TJ, Lindsey's boyfriend. How weird does that seem to me. My little girl in a real and deepening relationship...next Thursday she is flying to Alaska to meet his family. We love TJ and are so proud of his devotion to Christ and the church.

We took the boat out and all of us went skiing and wakeboarding and had a kick! (my muscles are screaming..."too much fun!") Then came back and grilled steaks and watched some of the Olympics.

Started reading "Good to Great for the Social Sector" by Jim Collins. Insightful for non-profit leadership and based on much research.
The book starts with the question "Are you trying to be interesting, or are you seeking to be interested?" There it is servanthood again.

Sabbatical #11 Goodbye & Hello Friend

Got up early and broke open a new loaf of bread...that is code language for the fact that I bought Deb and I brand new, black leather, gold edge, red letter, names embossed on the front cover, NIV, large print, thin line, non reference, BIBLES! So I started breaking mine in.

Now you must understand this is always a bittersweet moment...you see there is the Holy Bible and then there is MY Bible. The Word never changes but the book I use to read, study, and preach God's Word MUST change...I simply wear them out from hauling them to places like Ethiopia...carrying them in backpacks...etc...the binding usually breaks.

So to change Bibles is to say goodbye to old friend and retire it to some shelf of honor.

But it is also like saying...hello to a new friend who holds just as much promise, adventure, comfort, counsel, wisdom, power, and creativity as my last friend.

Over the next 8 weeks I am journeying through the New Testament and the start of that journey was exciting.

Also read another entire book yesterday..."The GO-GIVER" great short book on servant-living. The theme is "The more you give the more you live" so find creative ways to give everyday...understand that YOU are a great gift and by giving yourself away, you can bless others and position yourself to be blessed. "Lord, let me give with an abandonment that blesses everyone in my circle of influence, Let me be open to receiving all you want to give to me directly and through others!"

Finally spent a whole day, reading, relaxing, learning, growing, taking a long walk with Deb and Lindsey....played a game like horseshoes which Deb won on her last throw...I would like to say I GAVE her the victory...but she WON it fair and square.

Sabbatical #10 Your Patient Needs Patience

Got up at 6am and unloaded the jeep into the wrong house because we were locked out of our house because our property manager failed to leave the keys he had promised. Deb and Lindsey drove with me an hour to Kelowna to try and get the boat trailer fixed.

We thought this might take a couple of hours and then we could get on with the real vacation.
The bad news was the problem was worse than expected...the brake trailers had failed completely and the whole brake system would have to be overhauled. I kept checking back in, only to hear 3 different times..."It's not done yet".

My patience was running short. My frustration was building, while my attitude was deteriorating. But the Lord seemed to begin to speak to me on this subject..."Larry you are broken in places. One of the areas of brokenness is your demand that things go your way on your time table. Your "achiever" and "maximizer" strengths, while good in the right context, can become a destructive force to my peace. You are my patient whom I need to help with patience which is a fruit of my Spirit. You can have that in all situations if you trust my timing and sovereignty"

I tried to say "yes" to His voice. Finally at 5pm the trailer was done and $640 later (OUCH!) I was able to pull away for the hour trip back to the house.

I did have a good afternoon in the park with Deb and Lindsey enjoying a stunningly beautiful day on green grass by the exquisite Lake Okanogan.

Finally got the boat to the Lake...all our stuff moved into our house...and ended the day with a soak in the hot tub...thanking God that HE IS PATIENT with His Patient.

Sabbatical #9 Broken bearings & Burn Out

What a day!! As in challenging, hard, long day. Got up and packed the boat and jeep and finally left Seattle about 11am. That took forever!

Then drove for 7 hours at Costco in Kelowna...that's one hour from our home in Silver Star BC. As I was pulling into Costco I heard a terrible noise...it was my rear axle on boat trailer...the bearings are toast. It's too late to get it fixed but the problem is the boat is filled with stuff...to the brim...so we have to leave Lindsey perched on top of the boat as Deb and I drive madly to our house unload the Jeep and Deb drives back while I carry stuff up to the house.

Deb and Lindsey will be home in 20 minutes and I will have to unpack the Jeep...and be back up at 6am to rescue the boat from Costco parking lot and spend half the day (hopefully not more) getting the trailer fixed...Yikes!! So this little mishap cost us 5 hours of driving, probably $500 or more bucks, and lots of extra work...BUT...BUT...You know what I know???

God is good all the time, and the all the time God is good!! What if I had been stranded in the middle of nowhere....that could have happened. God helped me with my attitude when my circumstances made me what to holler. It's just stuff, it's just another day, God has purpose and blessing in the midst of mud! Jesus is LORD...my circumstances are NOT!

Just like those bearings burnt out from going too hard and too fast for too long...my life and ministry can burn out also. So maybe the Lord was giving me an object lesson...time to take your life to the shop and have new bearings put in so you can get your bearings in life a little more clear.

Sabbatical #8 Lesson on Desire & Disappointment

Nice breakfast with Deb on the patio in the beautiful Seattle sunshine with tall pine trees overhead and beautiful flowers surrounding us.

Then off to fix broken things...brakes, etc on the Grand Cherokee....$500! Ouch! Flat tire on the bicycle! 18$! Ouch! Went to Starbucks with wife, daughter, and Shelley P. and drowned my sorrows in a mesmerizing doze of expensive coffee.

While at Starbucks got an email confirming that a dream has died. Call the mortuary for visions....buy a casket for expectations. A real estate project that was supposed to help fund the kingdom and be a blessing to Deb and me, fell through. 3 years we have been working on this thing. I won't detail it out but it gave me the opportunity to work through the whole "desire and disappointment" part of life.

Here's what I sensed the Lord may be saying to me in this significant letdown:
"Larry, when you make me the desire and the delight of your heart then disappointments, while real and painful, are quite small things. Because of who I am, Because Hebrews 13:8 is true and I will never change and thus never disappoint you, WHEN you keep me as the primary desire and delight of your heart, you rebound quickly from disappointments. Don't stop dreaming and creating and going for it...BUT never let anything but me have the center of your heart! I always have NEW and GOOD ahead for you as you trust me! So dream again but never let a earth dream get too big...As I told you in Psalms 34 Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (myself, my love, my beauty)"

Spent rest of day going to Pike Place Market on a gorgeous day...one of my favorite places...the smells, the sights, the people, the flying fish. Then to Fremont and lovely time reading and relaxing and then a gourmet dinner at 35th Avenue Bistro...try the Salmon or the Ravoli and the housemade sorbet!

Sabbatical #7 Seattle Sunday...Good, Sad, & Ugly

Got up and went to worship Jesus with the saints of New Heart Worship Center in Federal Way, Washington. Great time of worship and hearing the word from Pastor Gordon Banks. Preached on Delegated Authority from Genesis 41 how Pharoah raised up Joseph. The Lord spoke to me about the difference of walking in the authority I create for myself and the authority God grants me when I release my clinching fisthold on my own authority to operate in the peace and wisdom of His authority. Also that power and authority go together and I need to believe for more power and more authority in my life and my ministry.

Then went to brunch with family and friends at a special place that Shelley Pauls took us to.

Went to the home we found to relocate Mom from Oregon to Seattle. It was a gorgeous day and the home has a sweeping view of Puget Sound.

Then went to IKEA to shop with Deb for our Canadian rental home..then bike riding with Dwight beside White River..then Thai Bistro for some scrumptious Pad Thai.

Had a very disappointing email that seems to have a shot down a 3 year real estate project Deb and I had been working on...ouch...bummer. We will see.....the song I love goes, "You give and take away...Blessed me your name!" Holy Spirit coach me when I swing and miss! I love you Lord!

Sabbatical #6 - Road Trips, Dreams?, Songs

Up by 6am going hard to finish as much as I can at Mom's. Packed up pick-up and headed out at noon for the six hour drive to Seattle...just me and mom talking about life past, present, future. Unloaded, went to sister Brenda's house where one of the guys from the drug recovery program they run was fixing dinner. He was a real chef, trained at the Culinary Institute of America and he was artistic last night...excellent. Then took brother Justin home and crashed at midnight.

The Lord may have spoken to me in a dream...I showed up to a normal looking apartment just as a young white man was leaving with a deadly looking knife in his hand. Somehow I knew (dreams don't fill in all the details for you, ever notice that?) that he was the mass murderer everyone was hunting for and I knew he had just killed again.

I spoke a greeting to him and said something that engaged him in a friendly conversation, even though I was fearful, I kept talking and looking at the knife...the conversation went deeper and he opened up to me without telling me he was the mass murderer. I encouraged him to get help and suggested my wife and another psychologist...he thanked me sincerely and then went sprinting off.

The next evening I was sitting in my home...not my real home but my dream home...not my "dream" home like a mansion...but the house in my dream...suddenly a note was slipped under my door and it was the young man writing me to say, he was ready to get help, he hated himself and his deeds and thanked me for my friendship and gave me his phone number...I had 2 emotions...gratitude that I could be used by God like that AND fear that he knew where I lived without me even giving him any personal info.

Then I woke up.

Interpretation? Not sure yet but praying about it...The first interpreation to come to mind was that God wants to use Deb and me to interrupt the murderous violence on the streets around our church and that if we care, we can make a difference....and that now is the time to help and if we do our part God will do His...and that it will be scary. Hmmmmmm.....

A MUCH EASIER WORD...About 11:30pm I am driving the pickup to Dwight and Shelley's, our best buds who we are staying with during our Seattle stint....and listening to Country Music for a change. This song comes on..."I know what I was feelin' BUT what was I thinkin?'" It was about a guy who got in trouble because he let his emotion\hormones override his intellect.

What a great song..."Lord, my people and myself we get the two confused to our destruction too often...help me to walk in what I KNOW is best"....Love you Jesus!

Sabbatical #5 Clocks and Rodeos

Worked hard til 3pm...doing a final dump run and cleaning out cobweb filled junk.

Went to Sisters, Oregon....quaint little tourist spot high in the mountains to take an ancient clock there to be repaired by a master clockmaker...the clock's been in the family for almost a 100 years...and to repair it was $250...much more than the original price of clock. But things that last are worth the effort and expense put into them....I (and you) are eternal and therefore, God is willing to put the effort and expense into our lives...we don't just last for 20 years like most of the junk I hauled but we are a legacy...an heirloom...a masterpiece. Lord, please clean me up, lubricate me, adjust me, so I can run for you for another 50 years.

Went to the COUNTY FAIR and RODEO...favorite shirt I saw: "I messed with Txas."

Got a good dose of "yeehaw"...ate bbq beef, kettle corn, and tortatoes...homemade on the spot potato chips...good and greasy and gross and I am glad the fair is only once a year.

Sabbatical #4 Chainsaw Sculptures

Deb and Linz drove in at 3am...yea God! Got up @ sunrise and did a double power walk...some good prayer time. Was at the dump by 8:20am and back to keep cleaning and moving mom.

On the way to the dump on the second trip today...listening to country music and thinking about keeping it really real and authentic in life (after all County Music does that better than most Christians I know and especially most pastors)...anyway on the way there I saw a place with a big sign that said "CHAINSAW SCULPTURES"...I immediately thought, "that's my life"!

God is the great sculpture of my life and I keep thinking there is a "David" by "Michaelangelo" inside me...and there's truth there...but I am so stubborn sometimes that God has to use a CHAINSAW to get the useless stuff out of my life. You can't do much fine sculpting with a chainsaw! God keep up your work on my life...use a CHAINSAW when necessary...but also get me to that finer tuning that comes when you can pull out your small wood chipper and your whittling knive and do some detailed work on my heart.

A 72 year old Panda Bear causes a melt down...We were cleaning more stuff in a separate barn and suddenly mom found a Panda Bear she had when she was 4 years old and burst out in tears. I held her for a while and got the story...our humanity is so intriguing...70 year old things can trigger emotions that take us back to childhood.

I also thought of the verse in John 21 when Jesus prophesies about John and says when you are old, people will come and take you places you do not want to go....Mom wants to stay here but knows she can't so she must go where her circumstances dictate.

Sabbatical #3 Rat Poop and Reality Thinking

Got up for an early morning prayer\power walk...maybe I should call them a double power stroll...gorgeous as I watched the sun start shining on the Cascade mountains. Then went to work in dad's shop...gross...rat poop, squirrel poop, mice poop mixed with remnants from 77 years of Dad's life...I probably tossed 5000 worth of outdated veterinary medicine.

After about 4 hours of this I was beginning to think...what am I doing? I have a doctorate this kind of work is below me...Just then I sensed the Lord say..."who do you think you are?, Are you so high and mighty that you can't get on your hands and knees to serve your deceased father and your cancer stricken mom....get real, Larry!" I repented in the rat poop. "Lord I know you honor humility...please let me live in the beauty of humility.

I sensed what I believe was the Lord's inner voice one other time today...As I was cleaning my dad's stuff up, I began to think about dad. He was a man who always had a new idea, a new vision, a new dream...rather than cleaning up the mess from his latest idea he just moved on to the next idea. I thought to myself...he needed to slow down a little on the vision thing and not move forward without cleaning up his mess"...so do I...I need to see the mess that my next dream is going to create and count the clean up cost into the risk analysis before charging forward.

Deb and Lindsey will get here about 2am....yippee!

Sabbatical #2 Chemo & Cockroaches

A 3 mile walk at sunrise, working until breakfast, taking mom to her cancer chemo treatment and then a trip to the dump - at least that's what they called it the last time I went...now it's not a dump at all but a "transfer station"...but still smelled like a dump to me.

Then a quick trip to Home Depot and then to the country grocery store and we had friend chicken...which is just like fried chicken only with an "n"...(don't let Deb know I ate fried chicken and even had jojo's which are a disgusting form of potato that I am told is well known by truckers and 7-Eleven junkies.

Then I went to work on a disgusting hay shed filled with junk and hay and beekeeping stuff and multitudes of cockroaches and spiders. Deb would have run for the house. But I like cockroaches... especially fried.

Catch this I was on the phone with Deb when a 5.7 earthquake hit So.Cal.

All this sweat, and hay hauling, and dirt and dump yards...such a far distance from my usual day to day life...I sense you Lord...I loved our quiet conversation throughout the day...unfettered by a to do list dangling from my neck like a noose. I am exhausted, yet at peace...just mom and me and you in a 900 sq. foot mobile home on Crooked River Ranch with the cool breeze blowing through the door. Blow, Spirit...refreshing my soul.

Sabbatical Day 1

Departing from my blog style to date, I will be posting spontaneously rather than deliberately...which is to say...brief notes that serve as an on-line journal of this 3 month sabbatical adventure that I am on. More for me and Jesus than anyone else.

up at 4am to keep a promise to a woman worthy of being honored...promised to do the floors and take care of the boat before I flew out from LAX...

flew to see mom and care for her during chemo treatments which have recently been rougher.

landed in Redmond, ate at the Country Nook...yes sireee, yee haw...it was actually better than some prefabricated piece of cuisine conjured up in some fast food accountant's recipe book.

mowed the yard...that feel good to get really dirty...marveled at the deer in the front yard...then cleaned out the camper with mom...it was filled with dad's stuff and so it awakened memories and reminded me that since the middle of May I haven't had a minute to do the important work of grieving...Lord let it begin, cleanse my burden with the tears of gratitude and farewells.

Read paper, talked with Deb and Lindsey...they are driving up on Wednesday...oh and congrats to TJ on the new supervisor staff position at my alma mater, APU!

Little or True Pleasures?

Toilet paper, toilets, garbage collection, street sweepers, sidewalks, asphalt, hamburgers, vegetables, napkins, clean water, deodorant, hot water, running water, stoplights, etc.

Oh the little pleasures of life in a first world country.

I need a yearly dose of a third world country to remind me of how rich I really am and what rich is and is not. Having just returned from a trip to a remote part of Ethiopia, I am enjoying all the small things in a big way. I am so thankful for the fact that I live in SoCal America. Yet I always end up asking the question, Why me instead of Tesfye, Ashenafi, Getachew, Teshoma? They are great people who live on so little.

At the same time I am taught once again, what has real value. Is my real value in my Costco card, my 24 Hour fitness card, my Disneyland pass, my Starbucks card? My friends in Ethiopia are rich without having even toilet paper. The love of friends, the vibrant relationship with Christ, the tightness of their family, the joy they get from each new day, the purpose they find in simply helping someone who is in trouble or in sharing the simple story of salvation…these are their true pleasures that so many Americans are missing while we enjoy our little pleasures.

God help me fully live who I am and where I am, without missing the true pleasures because of the little pleasures that become much bigger in my mind than they really are.

Father’s Day Came

Ever since I was 10 years old I have loved Father’s Day.

My daddy died when I was two and when I was almost 10 I got a new dad when my mom remarried. I called him “Royce” at first, but it slowly morphed into “Dad”. Father’s Day no longer meant longingly watching other kids doing nice things for their “pop”.

When I got married a few days before “Father’s Day” it was my dad who was standing beside me as my best man. As I got older Father’s Day always meant a long call to dad who was always waiting near the phone.

Of course “Father’s Day” became infinitely more treasured when I became one myself. To hear the words “Papa” on the lips of my little blondie was one of life’s sweetest thrills. Her first cards to me were masterpieces meant for parental art museums.

So it may come as surprise that this Father’s Day will be met with sorrow mingled with smiles. You see, Father’s Day Came on May 13 this year. It was the day God came to get my Father. After I had sat prayerfully at his side for a couple of days and nights, the damage from an aneurysm of the aorta, finished his physical life. It was Father’s Day to step over, to go home, to transition into his Father’s presence.

We think of death as some dark thief strangling the air out of us as we fight to keep breathing. In some ways that’s true of death. But death is also a joyful messenger, announcing that our appointment with our King has come and the feast prepared in our honor is about to begin. Death is our day…our glorious day…our day to slip away from the chains of our physical existence and be free to be the immortal, perfected self we were created to be.

So this Father’s Day, I will thank my God, that my Father’s Day has finally, although much to soon to my liking, come!

ICU, Do You?

Dad is fighting for his life…and if he lives he may lose his leg and his other foot. I sit here fighting sleep, exhaustion, and confusion.

ICU is not for the faint of heart. I have often visited but I have never spent the night sleeplessly listening for every chirp of the machines that monitor my father’s battle.

Often I arise from my seat to pray, touch a shoulder, call a nurse, or simply shake off weariness.

30 hours ago Dad had a aneurysm of the aorta and almost died. Two major surgeries later, he is hanging on. Plague keeps breaking loose and blocking veins. Any errant piece could lodge in the wrong place and take him home to Jesus.

Me…I spent a mostly sleepless night Saturday as I waited to hear results of the surgery, then I preached two Mother’s day services and dedicated 9 babies. As I gave the altar call at 12:22pm I raced to LAX to catch my 1:30pm departing plane. Amazingly I made it.

After an evening with family here at St. Joseph’s hospital in Tacoma, WA., everyone went home and I started my long watch through the night.

So here I sit…calling out to you Lord. It just hit me…ICU…Intensive Care Unit but it can also mean…ICU…I SEE YOU. Lord, I believe you do…it feels lonely but I believe your eyes upon me…Your loving gaze is upon me…I am the apple of your eye…your thoughts are toward…I am engraved on your palm…my hairs are being counted hourly…you know my thoughts…you know when I stand up and when I sit down and when I nod off.

Lord you are my hope, my strength, my God…even when I am simply clinging to you in weary prayers of wordless ramblings…you know my heart and you embrace me. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, mount up on wings like eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint…So shall it be.

ICU too, Lord!

Halfway People

I don't want to live half-way! I can't stand the thought of mediocrity when greatness beckons. Comfortable is always the enemy of courage. Risk is the road to results that rock! Here is a well-worn but not told often enough story:

There is a magnificent one day hike in the Alps. If you start early in the morning you can reach the summit and get back to the car before dark.

About half way up the mountain is this incredibly beautiful rest house where everyone eats a great lunch. The owner of the rest house has noticed an interesting pattern over the years. When everyone reaches the rest house they are all excited about reaching their goal of the summit.
They warm themselves by the fire and about half way through lunch somebody inevitably speaks out what many people are thinking. "I think I will just stay here while you finish the climb and you can pick me up on the way back down."

At that moment everyone must the make decision to stay or go.

For all those who stay the first few hours are incredible. They sit by the fire and tell mountain climbing stories about other great mountain climbers from the past. They may even reminisce about some of their great climbing experiences in the past.

By early afternoon the mood dramatically changes in the room and everyone becomes silent. One by one they make their way over to this huge window in the back of the lodge and they stand there and stare at the summit.

For you see it is at this painful moment that they realize they have settled for second best in their lives.

Someone has well said, “The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

Snow and Sand

As I sit here in British Columbia looking out our window as the snow falls on ski slopes that are calling my name...I am reminded that in a few hours I will be boarding a plane to return to Long Beach, CA...where I will look out our window and watch as the waves fall upon the sand in 75 degree weather. The best of both worlds.

I have to ask the question...Am I spoiled or blessed? I know God alone has put me in such a wonderful situation in life. A series of miracles have allowed me to enjoy such privileges that I never imagined. My own ingenuity or power have not created such earthly enjoyment.

Yes I have made financial decisions that have been wise instead of stupid...but I have made enough dumb ones that I could have sabotaged the good ones. So God gave us these blessings, and God has safeguarded these blessings. I believe the PRIMARY reason I am blessed, is to be a blessing....

So I believe that the question of is SPOILED or BLESSED depends on how I leverage these blessings for the blessing of OTHERS and the BUILDING of the KINGDOM OF GOD.

If I consume these blessings primarily for my own benefit...these blessings will in the end be curses...but if I invest these blessings for the Kingdom...these blessings will bless me now and forever. I will ONLY keep what I GIVE and SHARE with others.

So I will enjoy without guilt what God gives but I will stay keenly aware of the priority to GIVE away what I have been given. So LET IT SNOW!

How Much of a Man Am I?

I like quiche.

I am emotional.

I like romantic comedies.

I can’t build anything.

I can’t even change my own oil.

I get lost easily and my wife gives directions.

I like candles, dark chocolates, and like roses on my desk.

I listen to love songs on the KOST sometimes.

I love to make Rice Krispy treats.

I cry easily.

I love giving and getting hugs.

I like making babies laugh.

I get scared when I hear strange noises in the night.

I have never tasted beer.

I don’t like being home alone.

I don’t like facial hair.

I like writing poetry.

I don’t like confrontation.

I have never punched anyone.

I drive a 8 year old Sebring Convertible.

I rent but don’t own my house.

I gave my wife a power drill for Christmas, she gave me a Kenny G CD.

I call my mommy every week.

How much of a man am I?

WAIT....!!!

I had a college football scholarship.

I have ridden in rodeos.

I have run marathons.

I have motorcrossed.

I have climbed Mt. Rainer with crampons and ice axes.

I have skydived.

I have been places where no white person has ever gone.

I made out with 3 different girls on one New Years Eve, my Sr. year.

I snow ski and can do double black diamonds.

I water ski and have my own ski boat.

I have traveled with armed guards on dangerous mission trips.

I have stood in front of hundreds of hecklers to confront them.

I own a home on a ski slope in a foreign country.

I lift weights every week.

I have slept on the dirt in the middle of jungles.

I also drive a Grand Cherokee Jeep.

I married the Homecoming Queen of my college.

I have a doctorate,

I have written a book.

I like Action Movies…Mission Impossible and Die Hard

I have swam with the largest sharks in the world.

How much of a man am I?

The truth is I have not really told you one thing about my true masculinity.

What I have done is spew off a bunch of cultural stereotypes about what a real man is or is not.

Real Masculinity is determined by being a man of godly character courageously living the mission God created me for! I HOPE I am living like a REAL MAN!

Lifting Heavy

When I was a teen, I prided myself in being big, strong, and athletic. Lifting heavy objects was actually exhilarating for me. I would bend over, get a good grip, and then muscle the load to my shoulder and walk off. My dad, however, would always bark at me… “Bend at the knees, use your legs, bend at the knees.” In my youthful pride, I poo-pooed such advice as being the paranoid warnings of an old man who couldn’t cut the muster.

40 years later, I bark at my daughter, “Bend at the knees, Lindsey, be smart and bend at the knees.” When I have to lift a heavy object, it’s with reluctance and with carefully positioning of my body mechanics by bending at the knees. Bending at the knees and lifting with your legs instead of the back is the “power position”…you lift more and you keep yourself from injury.

Likewise, in life and in ministry, I have learned that when I am faced with task of lifting heavy burdens the only solution is to “bend at the knees”. If I try and muscle the challenge up on my own power, I am certainly going to hurt myself. However, if I “bend at the knees” posturing myself in prayer, I am in the “power position”, to receive what God is longing to give to me.

Friday, I am going to give up a whole night’s sleep to pray at the church. It’s called a Watch Night Prayer Time. I need it. There are some heavy objects in front of me and the church…and the most powerful means to face them in is “bending at the knees”.