August 05, 2008

Sabbatical #8 Lesson on Desire & Disappointment

Nice breakfast with Deb on the patio in the beautiful Seattle sunshine with tall pine trees overhead and beautiful flowers surrounding us.

Then off to fix broken things...brakes, etc on the Grand Cherokee....$500! Ouch! Flat tire on the bicycle! 18$! Ouch! Went to Starbucks with wife, daughter, and Shelley P. and drowned my sorrows in a mesmerizing doze of expensive coffee.

While at Starbucks got an email confirming that a dream has died. Call the mortuary for visions....buy a casket for expectations. A real estate project that was supposed to help fund the kingdom and be a blessing to Deb and me, fell through. 3 years we have been working on this thing. I won't detail it out but it gave me the opportunity to work through the whole "desire and disappointment" part of life.

Here's what I sensed the Lord may be saying to me in this significant letdown:
"Larry, when you make me the desire and the delight of your heart then disappointments, while real and painful, are quite small things. Because of who I am, Because Hebrews 13:8 is true and I will never change and thus never disappoint you, WHEN you keep me as the primary desire and delight of your heart, you rebound quickly from disappointments. Don't stop dreaming and creating and going for it...BUT never let anything but me have the center of your heart! I always have NEW and GOOD ahead for you as you trust me! So dream again but never let a earth dream get too big...As I told you in Psalms 34 Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (myself, my love, my beauty)"

Spent rest of day going to Pike Place Market on a gorgeous day...one of my favorite places...the smells, the sights, the people, the flying fish. Then to Fremont and lovely time reading and relaxing and then a gourmet dinner at 35th Avenue Bistro...try the Salmon or the Ravoli and the housemade sorbet!

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