Dad is fighting for his life…and if he lives he may lose his leg and his other foot. I sit here fighting sleep, exhaustion, and confusion.
ICU is not for the faint of heart. I have often visited but I have never spent the night sleeplessly listening for every chirp of the machines that monitor my father’s battle.
Often I arise from my seat to pray, touch a shoulder, call a nurse, or simply shake off weariness.
30 hours ago Dad had a aneurysm of the aorta and almost died. Two major surgeries later, he is hanging on. Plague keeps breaking loose and blocking veins. Any errant piece could lodge in the wrong place and take him home to Jesus.
Me…I spent a mostly sleepless night Saturday as I waited to hear results of the surgery, then I preached two Mother’s day services and dedicated 9 babies. As I gave the altar call at 12:22pm I raced to LAX to catch my 1:30pm departing plane. Amazingly I made it.
After an evening with family here at St. Joseph’s hospital in Tacoma, WA., everyone went home and I started my long watch through the night.
So here I sit…calling out to you Lord. It just hit me…ICU…Intensive Care Unit but it can also mean…ICU…I SEE YOU. Lord, I believe you do…it feels lonely but I believe your eyes upon me…Your loving gaze is upon me…I am the apple of your eye…your thoughts are toward…I am engraved on your palm…my hairs are being counted hourly…you know my thoughts…you know when I stand up and when I sit down and when I nod off.
Lord you are my hope, my strength, my God…even when I am simply clinging to you in weary prayers of wordless ramblings…you know my heart and you embrace me. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, mount up on wings like eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint…So shall it be.
ICU too, Lord!