Cleaned house and washed windows for a few hours before meeting a long time friend who has been our property manager for 13 years. We have ministered to him through the dissolution of his marriage and sought to be an influence for Christ. It was good to be with him, share our love and God's with him, and on top of that it was a good business meeting as well.
Went down to town in the valley...I had to slam on my brakes for a guy making a sudden left turn, behind us was a 22 year old driver following too close, going too fast and BAM!! He smashed into us. I jumped out and the entire front of his car was smashed in but he was ok. We were ok....I had a bit of whiplash but nothing major...His car had at least$2500 of damage...ours had damage to the paint and a displaced bumper...he hit our trailer hitch and that spared us a lot of damage.
We couldn't believe it!! Is the devil trying to ruin our sabbatical or what? Deb and I just shook our heads. We thanked God no one was hurt and that we had no more damage than we did.
We went to the boat and just relaxed and read and swam and I waterskiied. Our friends and partners in our boat, Dwight and Shelley, our long time Seattle friends and pastor of children Bonnie and David Carpenter, and my sister Brenda all flew in for the weekend.
We took a long mountain hike as the full moon was rising...the AWESOMENESS of God was present...and stayed up til midnight laughing, sharing old stories, and praying together. It was a rich time. During prayer they specifically asked that God would shield the rest of our sabbatical from Satan's destructive attacks.
Deb and I had decided to laugh in the devil's face....not out of disrespect for his power...but out of the certainty of our victory in Christ! The devil can't steal the joy and goodness of God in our lives. Sabbatical is not an escape from the reality of spiritual warfare but a space where we can reflect on our victory in Christ!
August 16, 2008
August 15, 2008
S. #18 CSI and the Right Heart
Spent time in the word...loving Jesus and receiving his love for me.
Helped Lindsey get ready to go to Alaska.
The four of us walked to the ski village and had a late breakfast at Bugaboos
Then drove to airport and saw the kids off.
Went back to the parking lot where Deb's wallet was lost...spent the next hour and half looking for the elusive wallet....searching dumpsters...talking with people...offering rewards...talking with the police...I kept thinking it's going to be here...it's going to be there...praying fervently....trying to listen as if God was going to show me exactly where it was....but I got no word of knowledge, no vision...just sweating under the sun playing CSI...but to no avail and to great disappointment.
We came back up to the house, read, watched Olympics, and hot tubbed.
God, you can teach me through these trials....help me not to waste the frustrations but to learn what you want me to know...I love you, Jesus and these small trials are an opportunity....keep my attitude positive and my mind focused on you.
Helped Lindsey get ready to go to Alaska.
The four of us walked to the ski village and had a late breakfast at Bugaboos
Then drove to airport and saw the kids off.
Went back to the parking lot where Deb's wallet was lost...spent the next hour and half looking for the elusive wallet....searching dumpsters...talking with people...offering rewards...talking with the police...I kept thinking it's going to be here...it's going to be there...praying fervently....trying to listen as if God was going to show me exactly where it was....but I got no word of knowledge, no vision...just sweating under the sun playing CSI...but to no avail and to great disappointment.
We came back up to the house, read, watched Olympics, and hot tubbed.
God, you can teach me through these trials....help me not to waste the frustrations but to learn what you want me to know...I love you, Jesus and these small trials are an opportunity....keep my attitude positive and my mind focused on you.
August 14, 2008
S. #17 Birthdays and a Very Bad Day
We were celebrating Lindsey's birthday today since we won't be together on September 6.
We got up early and did a long mountain hike...followed by mom's special German Pancakes...then off to the Lake for wakeboarding and waterskiing. Lindsey tore it up on both and so did TJ. I had my best day skiing also.
Then we took them to Turtle Bay Marina and rented a SEADOO for them for an hour...while they Seadoo'ed Deb and I chilled at the outdoor cafe.
But then the trouble started. We drove back to Bagel Lane for Lindsey to eat at one of her favorite places in Vernon. When we got there...we could not find Deb's wallet! We searched high and low and determined it must have been left at the Seadoo place because she paid. She quickly drove back the 30 minutes one way to the spot...NO WALLET! She left numbers in case anyone turns it in. No one is fessing up yet. Our whole lives are in her wallet.
Near panic was setting in but we had tickets to the incredible outdoor theater called Caravan Theater so we had to go...it was spectacular evening in the Canadian hills...miles from anywhere...and the acting was good although none of us cared that much for the play this year.
But because of the wallet it was a somber night. TJ and Lindsey fly out to Alaska tomorrow to spend time with TJ's family and Deb may have to fly home for a few days to handle stuff if the wallet doesn't show up in the next few hours. This is hard...help me Lord to know how to minister to Deb...teach me in the tough times to be a rock and to trust you.
We got up early and did a long mountain hike...followed by mom's special German Pancakes...then off to the Lake for wakeboarding and waterskiing. Lindsey tore it up on both and so did TJ. I had my best day skiing also.
Then we took them to Turtle Bay Marina and rented a SEADOO for them for an hour...while they Seadoo'ed Deb and I chilled at the outdoor cafe.
But then the trouble started. We drove back to Bagel Lane for Lindsey to eat at one of her favorite places in Vernon. When we got there...we could not find Deb's wallet! We searched high and low and determined it must have been left at the Seadoo place because she paid. She quickly drove back the 30 minutes one way to the spot...NO WALLET! She left numbers in case anyone turns it in. No one is fessing up yet. Our whole lives are in her wallet.
Near panic was setting in but we had tickets to the incredible outdoor theater called Caravan Theater so we had to go...it was spectacular evening in the Canadian hills...miles from anywhere...and the acting was good although none of us cared that much for the play this year.
But because of the wallet it was a somber night. TJ and Lindsey fly out to Alaska tomorrow to spend time with TJ's family and Deb may have to fly home for a few days to handle stuff if the wallet doesn't show up in the next few hours. This is hard...help me Lord to know how to minister to Deb...teach me in the tough times to be a rock and to trust you.
S. #16 Silver, Sinking, Risking
Spent extended time in the Word...went to lake with Lindsey, Deb, and TJ. Skiied hard...TJ slalomed and did great for a first timer. BBQ'd ribs at the house. Watched Olympics.
The disappointment of the USA Women's Gymnastic team, led me to think of the disappointments in life. How we handle disappointments, unmet expectations, setbacks, defeats, even tragedies...determines how we move forward or backward in life. Most people play it too safe out of fear of failure. They know the pain of disappointment is very acute so if they set their goals much lower then they seldom have to face that pain. But if they go for the gold...they have to risk the possibility of frequent exposure to pain.
I had just read of Peter getting out of the boat...walking on water...what a risk...what a thrill...but when he sunk, he was rebuked by Jesus for his lack of faith...but how much more all those disciples who never dared to try something far outside their comfort zone. Peter goes down as the disciple of Faith, even though his career as a water walker failed. He dared to step out counting the possibility of victory as greater value than the possiblity of sinking!
God help me step out when I hear you say, "Come". He will always be there to pick me up when I sink!
The disappointment of the USA Women's Gymnastic team, led me to think of the disappointments in life. How we handle disappointments, unmet expectations, setbacks, defeats, even tragedies...determines how we move forward or backward in life. Most people play it too safe out of fear of failure. They know the pain of disappointment is very acute so if they set their goals much lower then they seldom have to face that pain. But if they go for the gold...they have to risk the possibility of frequent exposure to pain.
I had just read of Peter getting out of the boat...walking on water...what a risk...what a thrill...but when he sunk, he was rebuked by Jesus for his lack of faith...but how much more all those disciples who never dared to try something far outside their comfort zone. Peter goes down as the disciple of Faith, even though his career as a water walker failed. He dared to step out counting the possibility of victory as greater value than the possiblity of sinking!
God help me step out when I hear you say, "Come". He will always be there to pick me up when I sink!
August 12, 2008
S, #15 Learning Nothing
Chores...even on vacations or sabbaticals...there are chores...which I really don't mind that much because as you have heard it said, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"...but "All play and no work makes Jack an undisciplined little brat incapable of deeply experiencing pleasure but habitually looking for the next fun time instead of enjoying all times." Okay maybe you haven't heard the second quote.
After chores...we packed lunches and headed for the lake and spent the afternoon bobbing in the water and swimming and reading and laughing. Came back up the mountain to the house, hot tubbed, made dinner and played "Mexican Train"...a domino game...which Deb won (there seems to be a theme in our family)...and then watched a comedy movie.
I did not learn anything significant today...that I know of...and that is one of my goals is to have a few days where I don't accomplish anything...except enjoy God, my family, my life...and that at the end of that day I would feel just as special and valuable to God as days when I accomplish a lot...OK maybe I did learn something yesterday.
After chores...we packed lunches and headed for the lake and spent the afternoon bobbing in the water and swimming and reading and laughing. Came back up the mountain to the house, hot tubbed, made dinner and played "Mexican Train"...a domino game...which Deb won (there seems to be a theme in our family)...and then watched a comedy movie.
I did not learn anything significant today...that I know of...and that is one of my goals is to have a few days where I don't accomplish anything...except enjoy God, my family, my life...and that at the end of that day I would feel just as special and valuable to God as days when I accomplish a lot...OK maybe I did learn something yesterday.
August 11, 2008
S. #14 Conquering the Cliffs
Spent time with Matthew (the book) and Jesus. Good teaching for my spirit...Jesus was certainly a paradoxical blend of tough and tender...blasting Pharisees one minute, bouncing babies on his knee the next...I was touched by his humanity...when he got news that John the Baptist, his cousin, his hero (none born of women is greater) was beheaded, the next thing he does is go off alone and seek His Father...to me it has grief written all over it...his heart is heavy BUT he knows where to turn.
Since we had gone to church the night before...we packed lunches and headed for the daunting climb up the ENDERBY CLIFFS! Drove the hour there and started up. Of course Lindsey and TJ had boundless energy but Deb and I were huffing it all the way up the steep and strenuous path. It gets so steep at points that ropes are in place to help you up.
Deb felt like quitting several times but was a real champion...cheered on by the rest of the family. Ever since cancer surgery things like this have been more difficult but she refuses to be stopped. After 3.5 miles (one way) and 2200 feet of elevation gain we reached the top! What a view...we praised God!
After the 5 hour hike we were exhausted. But came home, hot tubbed, bbq'd ribs and then we went to a DRIVE IN...yes they still have them...a country drive in...we watched a double feature... Dark Knight (Batman 14) and Get Smart (Be dumb enough to watch it). Got home at 2am. What a FAMILY Day!
Lessons: Because we were committed to getting together to the top as a Family...we all had travel the pace of the slowest person...while it extended the climb time, it made the summit so much sweeter! I am the guy who likes to race to the top regardless of who I leave behind...sometimes it's more important to get there all together...Lord show me when to say, "let's go" and when to say "let's stay together".
August 10, 2008
Sabbatical #13 "My Father's Lap"
Slept in til 7am...got up and made coffee...spent time with Matthew & Jesus...Matthew writes some profound stuff about Jesus...I am struck by the pattern in Jesus' life of engagement and withdrawal, intensity followed by leisure, outflow followed by recharging.
Read the rest of Jim Collins' Good to Great for the Social Sector...key thoughts for me..."Great leaders are ambitous NOT for themselves but for the cause...a blend of personal humility and professional will...a commitment to do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission of the organization. When people see you are motivated first and foremost by the greatness of the work and not self-seeking then they are inspired to follow and emulate your example. I believe the Apostle Paul was a "level 5" leader...powerfully ambitious but only for the church and the cause.
It was cold and raining and hailing on the mountain...throughout the day...beautiful and powerful with lightening and thunder. Walked down to Bugaboos in the village, visited with Frank, our Dutch friend who owns the place...he gave us 4 of his famous cinnamon rolls...Lindsey, TJ, Deb, and me enjoyed them. Deb and I took a long mountain hike, eating wild strawberries, the clouds let loose just as we had about a quarter mile to go...we ran the rest of the way and then hopped in the hot tub in the rain!
Deb and I went down to the village for the wine festival...not to drink but to visit with friends we have on the mountain...saw several friends.
Then went down to Vernon to go to OUR church...Vernon Alliance Church pastored by our friend Stuart McKnight. He is on a semi break...working 4 days a week and only preaching 2 times a period of 9 weeks. He was there, but not preaching. Had a good time connecting with him and worshipping. Len Frank brought the word and it was perfect for me and for the start of Sabbatical. Detailed the difference between living from a Performance model and living from a Relational model...how we see to gain acceptance from God instead of receiving the GRACE of relationship...the Father's love...he brought the chair that his Father sat in all the time and how he was only allowed to sit in his father's lap a few times and when he was...he sat there tense and quietly until his Father fell asleep...he saw himself as an inconvenience to his Father.
In the worship following the message...God showed me how I had never really experienced "my Father's lap". I was too young to remember my daddy because he died when I was two. I was too old to sit on my step-dad's lap once he came into my life. The Lord seemed to show me that this is one of the reasons I have struggled with "performance" issues...having to establish my value through my accomplishments. God invites me to lean back into his chest, to feel the warmth of his arms embracing...not because I have done something special but because I AM SPECIAL to my Father.
Came back up the mountain and watched a movie with TJ and Linz.
Read the rest of Jim Collins' Good to Great for the Social Sector...key thoughts for me..."Great leaders are ambitous NOT for themselves but for the cause...a blend of personal humility and professional will...a commitment to do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission of the organization. When people see you are motivated first and foremost by the greatness of the work and not self-seeking then they are inspired to follow and emulate your example. I believe the Apostle Paul was a "level 5" leader...powerfully ambitious but only for the church and the cause.
It was cold and raining and hailing on the mountain...throughout the day...beautiful and powerful with lightening and thunder. Walked down to Bugaboos in the village, visited with Frank, our Dutch friend who owns the place...he gave us 4 of his famous cinnamon rolls...Lindsey, TJ, Deb, and me enjoyed them. Deb and I took a long mountain hike, eating wild strawberries, the clouds let loose just as we had about a quarter mile to go...we ran the rest of the way and then hopped in the hot tub in the rain!
Deb and I went down to the village for the wine festival...not to drink but to visit with friends we have on the mountain...saw several friends.
Then went down to Vernon to go to OUR church...Vernon Alliance Church pastored by our friend Stuart McKnight. He is on a semi break...working 4 days a week and only preaching 2 times a period of 9 weeks. He was there, but not preaching. Had a good time connecting with him and worshipping. Len Frank brought the word and it was perfect for me and for the start of Sabbatical. Detailed the difference between living from a Performance model and living from a Relational model...how we see to gain acceptance from God instead of receiving the GRACE of relationship...the Father's love...he brought the chair that his Father sat in all the time and how he was only allowed to sit in his father's lap a few times and when he was...he sat there tense and quietly until his Father fell asleep...he saw himself as an inconvenience to his Father.
In the worship following the message...God showed me how I had never really experienced "my Father's lap". I was too young to remember my daddy because he died when I was two. I was too old to sit on my step-dad's lap once he came into my life. The Lord seemed to show me that this is one of the reasons I have struggled with "performance" issues...having to establish my value through my accomplishments. God invites me to lean back into his chest, to feel the warmth of his arms embracing...not because I have done something special but because I AM SPECIAL to my Father.
Came back up the mountain and watched a movie with TJ and Linz.
August 09, 2008
Sabbatical #12 Thistles, Sin, & Servanthood
Got up and spent time with Jesus and Matthew...going verse by verse. I am convicted to be a "2 Mile Christian"...one who when compelled to go one mile cheerfully says "Can I carry that heavy load another mile for you?" That's servant leadership..."Lord, teach me to be a 'go-giver'"
Then pulled "thistles" for part of the morning...if you don't get them pulled up before they flower they continue to multiply...I couldn't help but think about sin in my life and how important it is to pull it out when it is young, new, beginning, before it's roots grow deeper and it begins to spread its poison and spread to other parts of the garden of my heart!
As I was pulling thistles my allergies went off the charts...red bumps up and down arms, sneezing, the whole deal. I pray that I would be that allergic to SIN!
Drove Deb and Lindsey to the airport and we picked up TJ, Lindsey's boyfriend. How weird does that seem to me. My little girl in a real and deepening relationship...next Thursday she is flying to Alaska to meet his family. We love TJ and are so proud of his devotion to Christ and the church.
We took the boat out and all of us went skiing and wakeboarding and had a kick! (my muscles are screaming..."too much fun!") Then came back and grilled steaks and watched some of the Olympics.
Started reading "Good to Great for the Social Sector" by Jim Collins. Insightful for non-profit leadership and based on much research.
The book starts with the question "Are you trying to be interesting, or are you seeking to be interested?" There it is servanthood again.
Then pulled "thistles" for part of the morning...if you don't get them pulled up before they flower they continue to multiply...I couldn't help but think about sin in my life and how important it is to pull it out when it is young, new, beginning, before it's roots grow deeper and it begins to spread its poison and spread to other parts of the garden of my heart!
As I was pulling thistles my allergies went off the charts...red bumps up and down arms, sneezing, the whole deal. I pray that I would be that allergic to SIN!
Drove Deb and Lindsey to the airport and we picked up TJ, Lindsey's boyfriend. How weird does that seem to me. My little girl in a real and deepening relationship...next Thursday she is flying to Alaska to meet his family. We love TJ and are so proud of his devotion to Christ and the church.
We took the boat out and all of us went skiing and wakeboarding and had a kick! (my muscles are screaming..."too much fun!") Then came back and grilled steaks and watched some of the Olympics.
Started reading "Good to Great for the Social Sector" by Jim Collins. Insightful for non-profit leadership and based on much research.
The book starts with the question "Are you trying to be interesting, or are you seeking to be interested?" There it is servanthood again.
August 08, 2008
Sabbatical #11 Goodbye & Hello Friend
Got up early and broke open a new loaf of bread...that is code language for the fact that I bought Deb and I brand new, black leather, gold edge, red letter, names embossed on the front cover, NIV, large print, thin line, non reference, BIBLES! So I started breaking mine in.
Now you must understand this is always a bittersweet moment...you see there is the Holy Bible and then there is MY Bible. The Word never changes but the book I use to read, study, and preach God's Word MUST change...I simply wear them out from hauling them to places like Ethiopia...carrying them in backpacks...etc...the binding usually breaks.
So to change Bibles is to say goodbye to old friend and retire it to some shelf of honor.
But it is also like saying...hello to a new friend who holds just as much promise, adventure, comfort, counsel, wisdom, power, and creativity as my last friend.
Over the next 8 weeks I am journeying through the New Testament and the start of that journey was exciting.
Also read another entire book yesterday..."The GO-GIVER" great short book on servant-living. The theme is "The more you give the more you live" so find creative ways to give everyday...understand that YOU are a great gift and by giving yourself away, you can bless others and position yourself to be blessed. "Lord, let me give with an abandonment that blesses everyone in my circle of influence, Let me be open to receiving all you want to give to me directly and through others!"
Finally spent a whole day, reading, relaxing, learning, growing, taking a long walk with Deb and Lindsey....played a game like horseshoes which Deb won on her last throw...I would like to say I GAVE her the victory...but she WON it fair and square.
Now you must understand this is always a bittersweet moment...you see there is the Holy Bible and then there is MY Bible. The Word never changes but the book I use to read, study, and preach God's Word MUST change...I simply wear them out from hauling them to places like Ethiopia...carrying them in backpacks...etc...the binding usually breaks.
So to change Bibles is to say goodbye to old friend and retire it to some shelf of honor.
But it is also like saying...hello to a new friend who holds just as much promise, adventure, comfort, counsel, wisdom, power, and creativity as my last friend.
Over the next 8 weeks I am journeying through the New Testament and the start of that journey was exciting.
Also read another entire book yesterday..."The GO-GIVER" great short book on servant-living. The theme is "The more you give the more you live" so find creative ways to give everyday...understand that YOU are a great gift and by giving yourself away, you can bless others and position yourself to be blessed. "Lord, let me give with an abandonment that blesses everyone in my circle of influence, Let me be open to receiving all you want to give to me directly and through others!"
Finally spent a whole day, reading, relaxing, learning, growing, taking a long walk with Deb and Lindsey....played a game like horseshoes which Deb won on her last throw...I would like to say I GAVE her the victory...but she WON it fair and square.
August 07, 2008
Sabbatical #10 Your Patient Needs Patience
Got up at 6am and unloaded the jeep into the wrong house because we were locked out of our house because our property manager failed to leave the keys he had promised. Deb and Lindsey drove with me an hour to Kelowna to try and get the boat trailer fixed.
We thought this might take a couple of hours and then we could get on with the real vacation.
The bad news was the problem was worse than expected...the brake trailers had failed completely and the whole brake system would have to be overhauled. I kept checking back in, only to hear 3 different times..."It's not done yet".
My patience was running short. My frustration was building, while my attitude was deteriorating. But the Lord seemed to begin to speak to me on this subject..."Larry you are broken in places. One of the areas of brokenness is your demand that things go your way on your time table. Your "achiever" and "maximizer" strengths, while good in the right context, can become a destructive force to my peace. You are my patient whom I need to help with patience which is a fruit of my Spirit. You can have that in all situations if you trust my timing and sovereignty"
I tried to say "yes" to His voice. Finally at 5pm the trailer was done and $640 later (OUCH!) I was able to pull away for the hour trip back to the house.
I did have a good afternoon in the park with Deb and Lindsey enjoying a stunningly beautiful day on green grass by the exquisite Lake Okanogan.
Finally got the boat to the Lake...all our stuff moved into our house...and ended the day with a soak in the hot tub...thanking God that HE IS PATIENT with His Patient.
We thought this might take a couple of hours and then we could get on with the real vacation.
The bad news was the problem was worse than expected...the brake trailers had failed completely and the whole brake system would have to be overhauled. I kept checking back in, only to hear 3 different times..."It's not done yet".
My patience was running short. My frustration was building, while my attitude was deteriorating. But the Lord seemed to begin to speak to me on this subject..."Larry you are broken in places. One of the areas of brokenness is your demand that things go your way on your time table. Your "achiever" and "maximizer" strengths, while good in the right context, can become a destructive force to my peace. You are my patient whom I need to help with patience which is a fruit of my Spirit. You can have that in all situations if you trust my timing and sovereignty"
I tried to say "yes" to His voice. Finally at 5pm the trailer was done and $640 later (OUCH!) I was able to pull away for the hour trip back to the house.
I did have a good afternoon in the park with Deb and Lindsey enjoying a stunningly beautiful day on green grass by the exquisite Lake Okanogan.
Finally got the boat to the Lake...all our stuff moved into our house...and ended the day with a soak in the hot tub...thanking God that HE IS PATIENT with His Patient.
August 05, 2008
Sabbatical #9 Broken bearings & Burn Out
What a day!! As in challenging, hard, long day. Got up and packed the boat and jeep and finally left Seattle about 11am. That took forever!
Then drove for 7 hours at Costco in Kelowna...that's one hour from our home in Silver Star BC. As I was pulling into Costco I heard a terrible noise...it was my rear axle on boat trailer...the bearings are toast. It's too late to get it fixed but the problem is the boat is filled with stuff...to the brim...so we have to leave Lindsey perched on top of the boat as Deb and I drive madly to our house unload the Jeep and Deb drives back while I carry stuff up to the house.
Deb and Lindsey will be home in 20 minutes and I will have to unpack the Jeep...and be back up at 6am to rescue the boat from Costco parking lot and spend half the day (hopefully not more) getting the trailer fixed...Yikes!! So this little mishap cost us 5 hours of driving, probably $500 or more bucks, and lots of extra work...BUT...BUT...You know what I know???
God is good all the time, and the all the time God is good!! What if I had been stranded in the middle of nowhere....that could have happened. God helped me with my attitude when my circumstances made me what to holler. It's just stuff, it's just another day, God has purpose and blessing in the midst of mud! Jesus is LORD...my circumstances are NOT!
Just like those bearings burnt out from going too hard and too fast for too long...my life and ministry can burn out also. So maybe the Lord was giving me an object lesson...time to take your life to the shop and have new bearings put in so you can get your bearings in life a little more clear.
Then drove for 7 hours at Costco in Kelowna...that's one hour from our home in Silver Star BC. As I was pulling into Costco I heard a terrible noise...it was my rear axle on boat trailer...the bearings are toast. It's too late to get it fixed but the problem is the boat is filled with stuff...to the brim...so we have to leave Lindsey perched on top of the boat as Deb and I drive madly to our house unload the Jeep and Deb drives back while I carry stuff up to the house.
Deb and Lindsey will be home in 20 minutes and I will have to unpack the Jeep...and be back up at 6am to rescue the boat from Costco parking lot and spend half the day (hopefully not more) getting the trailer fixed...Yikes!! So this little mishap cost us 5 hours of driving, probably $500 or more bucks, and lots of extra work...BUT...BUT...You know what I know???
God is good all the time, and the all the time God is good!! What if I had been stranded in the middle of nowhere....that could have happened. God helped me with my attitude when my circumstances made me what to holler. It's just stuff, it's just another day, God has purpose and blessing in the midst of mud! Jesus is LORD...my circumstances are NOT!
Just like those bearings burnt out from going too hard and too fast for too long...my life and ministry can burn out also. So maybe the Lord was giving me an object lesson...time to take your life to the shop and have new bearings put in so you can get your bearings in life a little more clear.
Sabbatical #8 Lesson on Desire & Disappointment
Nice breakfast with Deb on the patio in the beautiful Seattle sunshine with tall pine trees overhead and beautiful flowers surrounding us.
Then off to fix broken things...brakes, etc on the Grand Cherokee....$500! Ouch! Flat tire on the bicycle! 18$! Ouch! Went to Starbucks with wife, daughter, and Shelley P. and drowned my sorrows in a mesmerizing doze of expensive coffee.
While at Starbucks got an email confirming that a dream has died. Call the mortuary for visions....buy a casket for expectations. A real estate project that was supposed to help fund the kingdom and be a blessing to Deb and me, fell through. 3 years we have been working on this thing. I won't detail it out but it gave me the opportunity to work through the whole "desire and disappointment" part of life.
Here's what I sensed the Lord may be saying to me in this significant letdown:
"Larry, when you make me the desire and the delight of your heart then disappointments, while real and painful, are quite small things. Because of who I am, Because Hebrews 13:8 is true and I will never change and thus never disappoint you, WHEN you keep me as the primary desire and delight of your heart, you rebound quickly from disappointments. Don't stop dreaming and creating and going for it...BUT never let anything but me have the center of your heart! I always have NEW and GOOD ahead for you as you trust me! So dream again but never let a earth dream get too big...As I told you in Psalms 34 Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (myself, my love, my beauty)"
Spent rest of day going to Pike Place Market on a gorgeous day...one of my favorite places...the smells, the sights, the people, the flying fish. Then to Fremont and lovely time reading and relaxing and then a gourmet dinner at 35th Avenue Bistro...try the Salmon or the Ravoli and the housemade sorbet!
Then off to fix broken things...brakes, etc on the Grand Cherokee....$500! Ouch! Flat tire on the bicycle! 18$! Ouch! Went to Starbucks with wife, daughter, and Shelley P. and drowned my sorrows in a mesmerizing doze of expensive coffee.
While at Starbucks got an email confirming that a dream has died. Call the mortuary for visions....buy a casket for expectations. A real estate project that was supposed to help fund the kingdom and be a blessing to Deb and me, fell through. 3 years we have been working on this thing. I won't detail it out but it gave me the opportunity to work through the whole "desire and disappointment" part of life.
Here's what I sensed the Lord may be saying to me in this significant letdown:
"Larry, when you make me the desire and the delight of your heart then disappointments, while real and painful, are quite small things. Because of who I am, Because Hebrews 13:8 is true and I will never change and thus never disappoint you, WHEN you keep me as the primary desire and delight of your heart, you rebound quickly from disappointments. Don't stop dreaming and creating and going for it...BUT never let anything but me have the center of your heart! I always have NEW and GOOD ahead for you as you trust me! So dream again but never let a earth dream get too big...As I told you in Psalms 34 Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (myself, my love, my beauty)"
Spent rest of day going to Pike Place Market on a gorgeous day...one of my favorite places...the smells, the sights, the people, the flying fish. Then to Fremont and lovely time reading and relaxing and then a gourmet dinner at 35th Avenue Bistro...try the Salmon or the Ravoli and the housemade sorbet!
August 03, 2008
Sabbatical #7 Seattle Sunday...Good, Sad, & Ugly
Got up and went to worship Jesus with the saints of New Heart Worship Center in Federal Way, Washington. Great time of worship and hearing the word from Pastor Gordon Banks. Preached on Delegated Authority from Genesis 41 how Pharoah raised up Joseph. The Lord spoke to me about the difference of walking in the authority I create for myself and the authority God grants me when I release my clinching fisthold on my own authority to operate in the peace and wisdom of His authority. Also that power and authority go together and I need to believe for more power and more authority in my life and my ministry.
Then went to brunch with family and friends at a special place that Shelley Pauls took us to.
Went to the home we found to relocate Mom from Oregon to Seattle. It was a gorgeous day and the home has a sweeping view of Puget Sound.
Then went to IKEA to shop with Deb for our Canadian rental home..then bike riding with Dwight beside White River..then Thai Bistro for some scrumptious Pad Thai.
Had a very disappointing email that seems to have a shot down a 3 year real estate project Deb and I had been working on...ouch...bummer. We will see.....the song I love goes, "You give and take away...Blessed me your name!" Holy Spirit coach me when I swing and miss! I love you Lord!
Then went to brunch with family and friends at a special place that Shelley Pauls took us to.
Went to the home we found to relocate Mom from Oregon to Seattle. It was a gorgeous day and the home has a sweeping view of Puget Sound.
Then went to IKEA to shop with Deb for our Canadian rental home..then bike riding with Dwight beside White River..then Thai Bistro for some scrumptious Pad Thai.
Had a very disappointing email that seems to have a shot down a 3 year real estate project Deb and I had been working on...ouch...bummer. We will see.....the song I love goes, "You give and take away...Blessed me your name!" Holy Spirit coach me when I swing and miss! I love you Lord!
Sabbatical #6 - Road Trips, Dreams?, Songs
Up by 6am going hard to finish as much as I can at Mom's. Packed up pick-up and headed out at noon for the six hour drive to Seattle...just me and mom talking about life past, present, future. Unloaded, went to sister Brenda's house where one of the guys from the drug recovery program they run was fixing dinner. He was a real chef, trained at the Culinary Institute of America and he was artistic last night...excellent. Then took brother Justin home and crashed at midnight.
The Lord may have spoken to me in a dream...I showed up to a normal looking apartment just as a young white man was leaving with a deadly looking knife in his hand. Somehow I knew (dreams don't fill in all the details for you, ever notice that?) that he was the mass murderer everyone was hunting for and I knew he had just killed again.
I spoke a greeting to him and said something that engaged him in a friendly conversation, even though I was fearful, I kept talking and looking at the knife...the conversation went deeper and he opened up to me without telling me he was the mass murderer. I encouraged him to get help and suggested my wife and another psychologist...he thanked me sincerely and then went sprinting off.
The next evening I was sitting in my home...not my real home but my dream home...not my "dream" home like a mansion...but the house in my dream...suddenly a note was slipped under my door and it was the young man writing me to say, he was ready to get help, he hated himself and his deeds and thanked me for my friendship and gave me his phone number...I had 2 emotions...gratitude that I could be used by God like that AND fear that he knew where I lived without me even giving him any personal info.
Then I woke up.
Interpretation? Not sure yet but praying about it...The first interpreation to come to mind was that God wants to use Deb and me to interrupt the murderous violence on the streets around our church and that if we care, we can make a difference....and that now is the time to help and if we do our part God will do His...and that it will be scary. Hmmmmmm.....
A MUCH EASIER WORD...About 11:30pm I am driving the pickup to Dwight and Shelley's, our best buds who we are staying with during our Seattle stint....and listening to Country Music for a change. This song comes on..."I know what I was feelin' BUT what was I thinkin?'" It was about a guy who got in trouble because he let his emotion\hormones override his intellect.
What a great song..."Lord, my people and myself we get the two confused to our destruction too often...help me to walk in what I KNOW is best"....Love you Jesus!
The Lord may have spoken to me in a dream...I showed up to a normal looking apartment just as a young white man was leaving with a deadly looking knife in his hand. Somehow I knew (dreams don't fill in all the details for you, ever notice that?) that he was the mass murderer everyone was hunting for and I knew he had just killed again.
I spoke a greeting to him and said something that engaged him in a friendly conversation, even though I was fearful, I kept talking and looking at the knife...the conversation went deeper and he opened up to me without telling me he was the mass murderer. I encouraged him to get help and suggested my wife and another psychologist...he thanked me sincerely and then went sprinting off.
The next evening I was sitting in my home...not my real home but my dream home...not my "dream" home like a mansion...but the house in my dream...suddenly a note was slipped under my door and it was the young man writing me to say, he was ready to get help, he hated himself and his deeds and thanked me for my friendship and gave me his phone number...I had 2 emotions...gratitude that I could be used by God like that AND fear that he knew where I lived without me even giving him any personal info.
Then I woke up.
Interpretation? Not sure yet but praying about it...The first interpreation to come to mind was that God wants to use Deb and me to interrupt the murderous violence on the streets around our church and that if we care, we can make a difference....and that now is the time to help and if we do our part God will do His...and that it will be scary. Hmmmmmm.....
A MUCH EASIER WORD...About 11:30pm I am driving the pickup to Dwight and Shelley's, our best buds who we are staying with during our Seattle stint....and listening to Country Music for a change. This song comes on..."I know what I was feelin' BUT what was I thinkin?'" It was about a guy who got in trouble because he let his emotion\hormones override his intellect.
What a great song..."Lord, my people and myself we get the two confused to our destruction too often...help me to walk in what I KNOW is best"....Love you Jesus!
August 01, 2008
Sabbatical #5 Clocks and Rodeos
Worked hard til 3pm...doing a final dump run and cleaning out cobweb filled junk.
Went to Sisters, Oregon....quaint little tourist spot high in the mountains to take an ancient clock there to be repaired by a master clockmaker...the clock's been in the family for almost a 100 years...and to repair it was $250...much more than the original price of clock. But things that last are worth the effort and expense put into them....I (and you) are eternal and therefore, God is willing to put the effort and expense into our lives...we don't just last for 20 years like most of the junk I hauled but we are a legacy...an heirloom...a masterpiece. Lord, please clean me up, lubricate me, adjust me, so I can run for you for another 50 years.
Went to the COUNTY FAIR and RODEO...favorite shirt I saw: "I messed with Txas."
Got a good dose of "yeehaw"...ate bbq beef, kettle corn, and tortatoes...homemade on the spot potato chips...good and greasy and gross and I am glad the fair is only once a year.
Went to Sisters, Oregon....quaint little tourist spot high in the mountains to take an ancient clock there to be repaired by a master clockmaker...the clock's been in the family for almost a 100 years...and to repair it was $250...much more than the original price of clock. But things that last are worth the effort and expense put into them....I (and you) are eternal and therefore, God is willing to put the effort and expense into our lives...we don't just last for 20 years like most of the junk I hauled but we are a legacy...an heirloom...a masterpiece. Lord, please clean me up, lubricate me, adjust me, so I can run for you for another 50 years.
Went to the COUNTY FAIR and RODEO...favorite shirt I saw: "I messed with Txas."
Got a good dose of "yeehaw"...ate bbq beef, kettle corn, and tortatoes...homemade on the spot potato chips...good and greasy and gross and I am glad the fair is only once a year.
July 31, 2008
Sabbatical #4 Chainsaw Sculptures
Deb and Linz drove in at 3am...yea God! Got up @ sunrise and did a double power walk...some good prayer time. Was at the dump by 8:20am and back to keep cleaning and moving mom.
On the way to the dump on the second trip today...listening to country music and thinking about keeping it really real and authentic in life (after all County Music does that better than most Christians I know and especially most pastors)...anyway on the way there I saw a place with a big sign that said "CHAINSAW SCULPTURES"...I immediately thought, "that's my life"!
God is the great sculpture of my life and I keep thinking there is a "David" by "Michaelangelo" inside me...and there's truth there...but I am so stubborn sometimes that God has to use a CHAINSAW to get the useless stuff out of my life. You can't do much fine sculpting with a chainsaw! God keep up your work on my life...use a CHAINSAW when necessary...but also get me to that finer tuning that comes when you can pull out your small wood chipper and your whittling knive and do some detailed work on my heart.
A 72 year old Panda Bear causes a melt down...We were cleaning more stuff in a separate barn and suddenly mom found a Panda Bear she had when she was 4 years old and burst out in tears. I held her for a while and got the story...our humanity is so intriguing...70 year old things can trigger emotions that take us back to childhood.
I also thought of the verse in John 21 when Jesus prophesies about John and says when you are old, people will come and take you places you do not want to go....Mom wants to stay here but knows she can't so she must go where her circumstances dictate.
On the way to the dump on the second trip today...listening to country music and thinking about keeping it really real and authentic in life (after all County Music does that better than most Christians I know and especially most pastors)...anyway on the way there I saw a place with a big sign that said "CHAINSAW SCULPTURES"...I immediately thought, "that's my life"!
God is the great sculpture of my life and I keep thinking there is a "David" by "Michaelangelo" inside me...and there's truth there...but I am so stubborn sometimes that God has to use a CHAINSAW to get the useless stuff out of my life. You can't do much fine sculpting with a chainsaw! God keep up your work on my life...use a CHAINSAW when necessary...but also get me to that finer tuning that comes when you can pull out your small wood chipper and your whittling knive and do some detailed work on my heart.
A 72 year old Panda Bear causes a melt down...We were cleaning more stuff in a separate barn and suddenly mom found a Panda Bear she had when she was 4 years old and burst out in tears. I held her for a while and got the story...our humanity is so intriguing...70 year old things can trigger emotions that take us back to childhood.
I also thought of the verse in John 21 when Jesus prophesies about John and says when you are old, people will come and take you places you do not want to go....Mom wants to stay here but knows she can't so she must go where her circumstances dictate.
July 30, 2008
Sabbatical #3 Rat Poop and Reality Thinking
Got up for an early morning prayer\power walk...maybe I should call them a double power stroll...gorgeous as I watched the sun start shining on the Cascade mountains. Then went to work in dad's shop...gross...rat poop, squirrel poop, mice poop mixed with remnants from 77 years of Dad's life...I probably tossed 5000 worth of outdated veterinary medicine.
After about 4 hours of this I was beginning to think...what am I doing? I have a doctorate this kind of work is below me...Just then I sensed the Lord say..."who do you think you are?, Are you so high and mighty that you can't get on your hands and knees to serve your deceased father and your cancer stricken mom....get real, Larry!" I repented in the rat poop. "Lord I know you honor humility...please let me live in the beauty of humility.
I sensed what I believe was the Lord's inner voice one other time today...As I was cleaning my dad's stuff up, I began to think about dad. He was a man who always had a new idea, a new vision, a new dream...rather than cleaning up the mess from his latest idea he just moved on to the next idea. I thought to myself...he needed to slow down a little on the vision thing and not move forward without cleaning up his mess"...so do I...I need to see the mess that my next dream is going to create and count the clean up cost into the risk analysis before charging forward.
Deb and Lindsey will get here about 2am....yippee!
After about 4 hours of this I was beginning to think...what am I doing? I have a doctorate this kind of work is below me...Just then I sensed the Lord say..."who do you think you are?, Are you so high and mighty that you can't get on your hands and knees to serve your deceased father and your cancer stricken mom....get real, Larry!" I repented in the rat poop. "Lord I know you honor humility...please let me live in the beauty of humility.
I sensed what I believe was the Lord's inner voice one other time today...As I was cleaning my dad's stuff up, I began to think about dad. He was a man who always had a new idea, a new vision, a new dream...rather than cleaning up the mess from his latest idea he just moved on to the next idea. I thought to myself...he needed to slow down a little on the vision thing and not move forward without cleaning up his mess"...so do I...I need to see the mess that my next dream is going to create and count the clean up cost into the risk analysis before charging forward.
Deb and Lindsey will get here about 2am....yippee!
July 29, 2008
Sabbatical #2 Chemo & Cockroaches
A 3 mile walk at sunrise, working until breakfast, taking mom to her cancer chemo treatment and then a trip to the dump - at least that's what they called it the last time I went...now it's not a dump at all but a "transfer station"...but still smelled like a dump to me.
Then a quick trip to Home Depot and then to the country grocery store and we had friend chicken...which is just like fried chicken only with an "n"...(don't let Deb know I ate fried chicken and even had jojo's which are a disgusting form of potato that I am told is well known by truckers and 7-Eleven junkies.
Then I went to work on a disgusting hay shed filled with junk and hay and beekeeping stuff and multitudes of cockroaches and spiders. Deb would have run for the house. But I like cockroaches... especially fried.
Catch this I was on the phone with Deb when a 5.7 earthquake hit So.Cal.
All this sweat, and hay hauling, and dirt and dump yards...such a far distance from my usual day to day life...I sense you Lord...I loved our quiet conversation throughout the day...unfettered by a to do list dangling from my neck like a noose. I am exhausted, yet at peace...just mom and me and you in a 900 sq. foot mobile home on Crooked River Ranch with the cool breeze blowing through the door. Blow, Spirit...refreshing my soul.
Then a quick trip to Home Depot and then to the country grocery store and we had friend chicken...which is just like fried chicken only with an "n"...(don't let Deb know I ate fried chicken and even had jojo's which are a disgusting form of potato that I am told is well known by truckers and 7-Eleven junkies.
Then I went to work on a disgusting hay shed filled with junk and hay and beekeeping stuff and multitudes of cockroaches and spiders. Deb would have run for the house. But I like cockroaches... especially fried.
Catch this I was on the phone with Deb when a 5.7 earthquake hit So.Cal.
All this sweat, and hay hauling, and dirt and dump yards...such a far distance from my usual day to day life...I sense you Lord...I loved our quiet conversation throughout the day...unfettered by a to do list dangling from my neck like a noose. I am exhausted, yet at peace...just mom and me and you in a 900 sq. foot mobile home on Crooked River Ranch with the cool breeze blowing through the door. Blow, Spirit...refreshing my soul.
July 28, 2008
Sabbatical Day 1
Departing from my blog style to date, I will be posting spontaneously rather than deliberately...which is to say...brief notes that serve as an on-line journal of this 3 month sabbatical adventure that I am on. More for me and Jesus than anyone else.
up at 4am to keep a promise to a woman worthy of being honored...promised to do the floors and take care of the boat before I flew out from LAX...
flew to see mom and care for her during chemo treatments which have recently been rougher.
landed in Redmond, ate at the Country Nook...yes sireee, yee haw...it was actually better than some prefabricated piece of cuisine conjured up in some fast food accountant's recipe book.
mowed the yard...that feel good to get really dirty...marveled at the deer in the front yard...then cleaned out the camper with mom...it was filled with dad's stuff and so it awakened memories and reminded me that since the middle of May I haven't had a minute to do the important work of grieving...Lord let it begin, cleanse my burden with the tears of gratitude and farewells.
Read paper, talked with Deb and Lindsey...they are driving up on Wednesday...oh and congrats to TJ on the new supervisor staff position at my alma mater, APU!
up at 4am to keep a promise to a woman worthy of being honored...promised to do the floors and take care of the boat before I flew out from LAX...
flew to see mom and care for her during chemo treatments which have recently been rougher.
landed in Redmond, ate at the Country Nook...yes sireee, yee haw...it was actually better than some prefabricated piece of cuisine conjured up in some fast food accountant's recipe book.
mowed the yard...that feel good to get really dirty...marveled at the deer in the front yard...then cleaned out the camper with mom...it was filled with dad's stuff and so it awakened memories and reminded me that since the middle of May I haven't had a minute to do the important work of grieving...Lord let it begin, cleanse my burden with the tears of gratitude and farewells.
Read paper, talked with Deb and Lindsey...they are driving up on Wednesday...oh and congrats to TJ on the new supervisor staff position at my alma mater, APU!
July 09, 2008
Little or True Pleasures?
Toilet paper, toilets, garbage collection, street sweepers, sidewalks, asphalt, hamburgers, vegetables, napkins, clean water, deodorant, hot water, running water, stoplights, etc.
Oh the little pleasures of life in a first world country.
I need a yearly dose of a third world country to remind me of how rich I really am and what rich is and is not. Having just returned from a trip to a remote part of Ethiopia, I am enjoying all the small things in a big way. I am so thankful for the fact that I live in SoCal America. Yet I always end up asking the question, Why me instead of Tesfye, Ashenafi, Getachew, Teshoma? They are great people who live on so little.
At the same time I am taught once again, what has real value. Is my real value in my Costco card, my 24 Hour fitness card, my Disneyland pass, my Starbucks card? My friends in Ethiopia are rich without having even toilet paper. The love of friends, the vibrant relationship with Christ, the tightness of their family, the joy they get from each new day, the purpose they find in simply helping someone who is in trouble or in sharing the simple story of salvation…these are their true pleasures that so many Americans are missing while we enjoy our little pleasures.
God help me fully live who I am and where I am, without missing the true pleasures because of the little pleasures that become much bigger in my mind than they really are.
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