How do you anticipate and dread at the same time? How do you stand so joyful and sorrowful in the same moment? How do you send the dove soaring and yet know you are silencing the daily cooing you love so much.
For me the final good-bye was the daddy-daughter dance at Lindsey's wedding Saturday night. I bawled like a baby through the whole time and spoke to her through the tears. I had joked with her for several months that I wanted to dance to the song "I Dance With Cinderella" a song by Steven Curtis Chapman. It has a powerful line that says, "Cause I know something the Prince never knew...the clock will strike midnight and she'll be gone".
I felt like the clock was striking midnight. Midnight rings out that a day is done, over, unrepeatable, faded into the annals of history. But midnight also announces a new day....yes there are few hours of darkness but the calendar flips at midnight, the new day has started even though it will be a few more hours till you see sunrise.
I have a few tears to walk through before I fully process the grief and see all the light of the new day. A few minutes ago I walked into Lindsey's room and it had an empty atmosphere....she had already moved out physically so that wasn't it. It seemed empty of her vibrant spirit...like she had now moved her soul and spirit out of our home.
And that was the essence of our daddy-daughter dance...I told her, "Lindsey we will always be here for you with open arms and hearts...but you can never come back home." You see a person can only have one true home....one place where they belong most completely. This is why God says, "A man shall leave His Father and a woman leave her home and cleave to her husband".
During that dance I said to my dove, "Fly away darling"...I trust you to Jesus and TJ. I didn't really dance...it was more like hanging on to my princess for dear life and at the same time setting her soaring. So..."Lindsey, you were made to fly...so fly high, my precious girl, fly high!"
We danced to "When you come back down by Nickel Creek. While not all the lyrics apply, some of the lyrics are profound and fit exactly.
"When You Come Back Down"
You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play
When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down
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